This picture holds all sorts of warm fuzzies for me.
It was taken back in 2018 at the tail end of a birthday party for my friends' daughter. At the time, no one present had any idea I'd just been through the wringer. Meg, the birthday girl's mom, had sensed something was amiss, but it wasn't until more than a month later that I divulged details that put the pieces into place. Anyway, I was feeling all sorts of ways the morning of this party. I had to physically drag myself out of bed and get dressed. I wanted so much to celebrate this birthday, because her little life is such a blessing and I love her to bits, but I was struggling so hard against a tsunami of emotions that I wasn't sure how I could manage it all. I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer at the party, but I also didn't know that I had the capacity to plaster a smile on my face and pretend I wasn't eviscerated. I mustered up the strength to get in the car and head to their house. I sat in my parked car for a while, building myself up to walk inside. In that time, I got an e-mail from Chris. We were in the middle of a knock-out war (not with each other, but with ourselves) and basically just trying to find our way through the dark. Several e-mails had been passed back and forth, and I felt as though our relationship was about to tank directly into hell. So when I saw an e-mail from him come through, I felt my heart drop. Luckily, when I read it, it was the opposite of what I was expecting (I swear... that man never ceases to surprise me). While I was still a kaleidoscope of confusion, I finally found him in the dark, and even if we were still in the dark, at least we were together. Together, we'd figure a way out. So after reading that, I was able to head into the party with a sense of comfort I hadn't had. That made everything so much easier. However, I was still emotionally precarious, and all I really wanted was to hug and be hugged. As Chris once noted, hugs really are my "soothing protocol." LoL. Anyway, my friends all know I'm a hugger. But at a kid's bday party, it'd be weird, even for me, to just go hugging everyone. So I sat on a chair in the living room. Almost immediately, God sent Frank's mom, Deb, to squeeze next to me on the couch. Nick (Frank's nephew) had climbed up to check out my phone, and she wanted to get in on the love. I happily acquiesced (because I love Deb to pieces), and basically felt like I was getting hugged by her and Nick (his other nephew, Tyler, soon followed). Then one of the other children noticed that there was a phone being played with, and she, also, wanted to see. I was beginning to feel like the Pied Piper. Ha ha ha! Meg, Frank's wife, noted later that I was so stinkin' happy because I was basically in my natural habitat. I was surrounded by kids who were the cuddliest of cuddlers. It was AWESOME and exactly what I needed. And it was so nice to see her and her family. I've known them all since I was in HS (Meg came later, but she's stuck with me now - lol) and there is just no explaining how much I love them all. So that's how God ensured I got hugs when I needed them without outing me for seeming like a giant creeper. Ha ha. This is what I mean by trusting God to take care of things. When He knows you need something, He's got a plan in place to ensure you get it. I needed hugs, so he sent the cavalry in the form of Frank's mom and some kids. After this photo was taken, I sent it to Chris. I was so proud because for the first time in what seemed like forever, I was genuinely smiling. As usual, I've got the best friends in the world and the Best Dad Ever to thank for that. God is good, guys. In all things, God is good.
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