More on Chris Being Perfect
It's been a really emotional week for me. I have been struggling hard with some end of pregnancy health problems that culminated in me needing emergency surgery on Friday. Luca, thank God, is totally fine, but the hopes we had for a calm, natural birth have gone straight out the window. We'll now have a team on stand-by the moment I call and say it's "Go Time."
And that's okay. I've always rolled my eyes at the idea of doing a birth plan because there is simply no way to account for the myriad ways things can change last minute. I'm very much a believer that we can (and do) make God laugh when we tell Him our plans for things.
Anyway, in addition to being in a ton of pain from the surgery, itself, I was struggling with guilt over not being home with the kids. Everything (EVERYTHING) fell to Chris. And when I left for the hospital, it wasn't pretty. Vince and Nate both could plainly see the terrible state I was in, and it was scary for them. Vince had trouble sleeping, Nate cried, and that's to say nothing of how poor Nico was processing Mommy leaving. Chris was left to pick up those pieces by himself, and of course, he did it as he does so many other things- perfectly.
He made sure Nate had guidance on processing those big emotions. He redirected Vince away from coping through a cell phone to still recognizing his responsibilities for school and as "big brother." He was sympathetic towards their anxiety, but didn't let them use it as an excuse to stop doing things that were necessary for their health and well-being. I was so grateful, as I always am, that I can trust him to not only take care of the boys, but use even hard situations as opportunities for growth as men.
And then there was his support of me while I was in the hospital (Thursday through Friday afternoon). The level of pain was excruciating, and any semblance of dignity went straight out the window. Never once did I feel embarrassed or ashamed, and it's because I trust him so completely. He helped me to the bathroom, helped me maneuver in the bed (because any sort of movement, no matter how small, was next to impossible), and he helped me answer questions from the staff when I was too blinded by pain to respond appropriately. He was always close enough to keep his hand on me or let me reach out for him because he knows how important touch is for me. God, I love this man.
The biggest thing, though, was how he handled some heartbreaking news we received while there. We still haven't processed it fully, but suffice to say it took my breath away. Somehow, he IMMEDIATELY knew what to say to redirect my psyche away from depression. And the crazy thing is that the news was likely harder for him to hear than it was for me. Regardless, he set his own feelings aside and comforted me. If I'm being honest, that just made me cry harder because I understood what he was doing and recognized the level of love it takes to do that. Lord, I cannot thank You enough for the gift of him. He truly is remarkable and I pray to always love him as fully (moreso, even) than he loves me.
Fast forward to today when I was finally released from the hospital. I'm obviously still in a ton of pain, but it was Nate's 1st Confession and obviously I wasn't gonna miss that for anything other than the birth of Luca. Ha ha!
So tonight, we all got ready to celebrate as a family. Since I'm still incapable of moving around much, Chris handled 99.9% of everything. I snapped a few photos of him dressing Nate and it was all I could do not to cry from appreciation. Nate was dressed in the same suit I'd gotten for Vince when he received. Chris helped him "suit up" and noted he'd need a tie clip/pin, something I didn't have and wouldn't have even thought of. So Chris went to his stash and pulled out a few options. In the end, he chose to let Nate borrow his grandfather's diamond tie pin. He showed Nate how it was used and explained it would help keep his tie in place. Again, it was such a sweet father/son moment and my breath caught in prayer as I once more thanked God that my boys have him to look up to and learn from.
And when we got home, he was adamant about me taking my meds and going to bed. Normally I try to fit in some sort of cleaning/organizing, but he wouldn't allow it. It was strictly "get in the bathtub, relax, take your meds and go to bed." Yes, I'm an adult, but as he points out, I'm a super stubborn one, and he tends to be the only one I allow to out-stubborn me.
I really do love this man, and I appreciate the many, MANY ways he has made our family so wonderful. God is good in all the ways, friends. Always do your best to acknowledge them and give thanks for His goodness.
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