That's right, I said I've got a MIRACLE, and I've been dying to tell you all since my husband sat me down in September to share it with me.
John, my agnostic, no-more-babies-ever-again husband sat me down and said (completely of his own volition), "I want to have another baby. We can start trying in January."
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I covered my face and my whole body shook with emotion. John knelt down next to me and said, "I thought you'd be happy!"
My God... happy?! HAPPY???
Happy was the absolute least of what I was feeling at that moment, but there was no way for me to communicate that to him. So I just shook my head, bowed it further, and unleashed my heart in soundless psalms of awe, jubilation and thanksgiving. Before I could physically speak to my husband, I spoke to God who had so mercifully melted his heart. I said a prayer to Myla, because I know she prayed on her Daddy's behalf.
After several minutes of this, I finally lifted my head and kissed that of my husband's, who was now sitting patiently next to me waiting for my emotions to settle. I said, "You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you. I love you so much. Even if we don't get pregnant, you just being open to another child means SO MUCH."
Then, in true John fashion, he asked, "Can we raise this one atheist?"
My heart did a bit of this:
For a split second, I saw the gift I'd just been granted get crushed.
Still crying I said, "No, John. I'll raise any and all children Catholic."
I then braced for him to retract his decision for another child. However, he signed in resignation, laid his head against me and simply said, "You know I had to try."
Folks, when I tell you I spent the next few days in a complete euphoria, that is an understatement to end all understatements. It was as if God, Himself, had come down to tell me I was already pregnant and would be giving birth to a perfect little cherub tomorrow. I'm not even kidding. I absolutely couldn't wait for January to roll around, so I started peppering John with images of us telling his father at Christmas.
So we went ahead and started trying.