 I had planned to mark some of my CCD tests at lunch today, so I brought my CCD bag into work with me. I still had the Agonizing Crucifix with me, and one of my coworkers saw Jesus' head popping over the top.
He sorta recoiled while asking "What kind of cross is that?" I pulled him out, happy to share one of my prized crucifixes. I said, "This is an Agonizing Crucifix. It portrays Jesus more realistically than the clean, pristine corpus models you see on most crucifixes." I hadn't really thought anything of it, but he was legitimately disturbed by it. I left him to ponder the crucifix while I made my coffee. When I got back, the crucifix was on my desk and I thought nothing more of it as I got to work answering the thousand e-mails in my folder. A few moments later, a mini crowd had gathered at my desk. Everyone wanted to see the "controversial crucifix" I had brought in that was apparently "too much," "distasteful" or "unnecessary." I tried to explain the reason such a crucifix is a great reminder to have handy - ESPECIALLY during Lent. It's important to remember all that went into Christ's Sacrifice, but my coworkers unanimously agreed that such a graphic display of torture was pointless and horrid. One went so far as to cut out a robe for Christ to drape over His Wounds. I took no offense to their reaction, mind you. In fact, I pointed out that their reaction is exactly what it should have been. We SHOULD be unsettled by such a visual. We SHOULD be uncomfortable to witness the agony His Body endured for us. To witness the effects of our personal sins on the One Who came to save us... it should be an experience from which your eyes wish to turn away from. Your soul, however, should be what pulls you back. Your heart should be what directs your eyes back to His Sacrifice because your heart and soul, both lovingly created by the Father of all, beckons them with His Love that pours out unceasingly from the Body of His Son. His Sacrifice was not pretty - it was not easy - and it was not the beatific scenes imagined by our Renaissance masters. His Sacrifice was gritty, dirty, painful and evil... and it was completely borne faithfully with unimaginable Love. Blessed be the Lord. And if anyone is curious like my coworkers were about my willingness to show this to my own son, Vincent has already seen it. He knows Jesus had "lots of boo boos" because He fought the bad guy and He won so we can be together in Heaven one day. Jesus is our hero. I don't have it hanging in Vincent's nursery, but I don't hide from him Christ's sacrifice, either. As he gets older, I'll obviously explain more, but I think he's got a pretty good handle on the reason for Jesus' boo boos.
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I have this question I ask my CCD students every year as we begin to study the Stations of the Cross / Sorrowful Mysteries: How many wounds did Jesus have while hanging on the Cross? Without fail I always get the same few answers. "Four" (Two Hands / Feet) "Five" (Hands, Feet + Side) "Like ten or twenty" (Hands, Feet, Side + pricks from the crown of thorns) After they exhaust the answers above, I pull out this crucifix: 
Without fail, the class recoils. Faces scrunch up in horror, disbelief and disgust. Almost immediately their hands begin to shoot into the air, all signaling the same exact question:
"Miss G, why is He all covered in Blood?!" I then remind my students that Jesus' Passion did not begin and end on the Cross. Jesus endured so much more than being nailed to a cross for our Salvation. He was beaten, scourged, kicked, punched, spat upon, bullied and whipped well before He even saw the Cross. You see, the crucifixes we display in churches and homes are not typically graphic. As a result, we tend to "pretty up" the garish Sacrifice God made for us. We lose sight of the reality of what His Sacrifice really meant. I didn't show my children this crucifix to get a reaction from them - I showed it to them as a stark visual reminder of the suffering that went into Christ's physical sacrifice. Too frequently we speak about His Death with a twinge of sadness and then move on to say "But hey, that's over now because He rose and now none of that horrible stuff matters! Jesus suffered so you don't have to!" No. This crucifix reminds us that Christ's Sacrifice was VERY real, VERY graphic, VERY inhuman, and VERY necessary. Our sin is what disfigured Our Lord in this manner. Our sin is what caused the strips of flesh to be scourged from His bones. Our sin is what pressed the Crown of Thorns onto His Precious Head. Our sin is what kicked, whipped and spat upon Him as He made His Way along the Via Dolorosa. This crucifix brought all of that front and center for my class, and suddenly the Stations of the Cross became a lot more meaningful for them as a result. They understood why He fell so many times. They understood why Simon was needed to help Him carry His Cross along. They understood, then, why Our Lady's heart must have broken a thousand times over seeing Her Son disfigured in such a cruel manner... and why St. Veronica was doing such a service to Him by cleaning His Face with her veil. Seeing this crucifix colored their meditation more than any amount of explanation I could've done. For those of you who do not know this crucifix's origins, a seer by the name of Barnabas Nowye of Nigeria was commissioned by Christ to create a crucifix that would remind this generation of the reality of His Sacrifice. The Lord lamented to Barnabas that we as a people have forgotten just how much He spent Himself in gaining for us the gift of Salvation. We no longer reflect with true solemnity because we cannot envision all that His Love called forth for us. So He showed Himself to Barnabas and Barnabas recreated as best he could what he saw. Jesus then asked him to write the words "I am the agonizing Jesus Christ who loves you" on the cross, itself. Indeed, He is the agonizing messiah. Christ came for one reason and for one reason only - to suffer, die and rise for our Salvation. Each step He took was a movement towards that terrifying, torturous Sacrifice. In order for us to fully appreciate His Gift, we need to fully understand what went into securing it.  I pose here with Zoey! So here's what I wore for Sunday (and Ash Wednesday, actually). So many of you have complimented the veil Michelle of Liturgical Time offered through the Big Lenten Giveaway that I wanted to entice you more! It really is just as magnificent as you've all said. Again, the camera simply cannot do the color justice. It's such a beautiful shade of plum and has a shimmer quality to it! I got a few compliments today from fellow parishioners. Which, BTW, was nice since I haven't seen my fellow parishioners in a few weeks. I've been spending my weekends at a neighboring parish on account of getting in "face time" before Vince starts there in September. I want them to recognize me (and I want to be able to recognize them!). Since I've been missing for a few weeks from my home parish, I've bumped into a few of them on the street and they've all asked where I've been. Then, when I stopped by the parish office to teach the secretary how to manipulate the website (which I've been doing off-site for almost two years), my pastor stopped me and said, "Hey, Gina! Long time no see. How've you been?" I actually blushed because I was afraid he'd thought I was dodging Mass or something. However, when I explained I was visiting another parish, I was doubly ashamed because I almost felt like I was betraying him and our parish! Ha ha ha. I shrugged of the ridiculous feelings and went about my business, but isn't that silly? He knows I'm a bit of a butterfly parishioner. I'm constantly traveling around to churches all throughout our area. Besides, I don't see it as a big deal. In my mind, they're all different rooms in God's House, so what's the difference? I'm sure I'm not the only one who parish-hops. Plus, knowing the various times that Mass / Confession is offered by the area parishes ensures I'm never "without," ya know? Also, each parish has its own unique artwork and we all know how much of a sucker I am for Catholic art. *Grin* Anyway, a new veil is still up for grabs through the Big Lenten Giveaway. Be sure to stop by as you can enter daily. May you all continue to have a blessed Lent!  Vince loved the veil! That was his outfit for Mass (minus the shoes) and I just realized we matched. Ha! I'm so excited to announce a Lenten Giveaway from My Broken Fiat! These prizes were chosen specifically because they're geared towards Lent and the Lenten journey. The giveaway will extend a little longer this time specifically because there are so many prizes. The content opens today, Ash Wednesday, and will extend through until Laetare Sunday (4th Sunday of Lent). Since Rafflecopter was so splendid last time, I decided to go the same route again for the various items. The sixteen (16!) items are:
Some of you may already be aware of it, but for those of you who aren't, please check out the blog of a woman by the name of Pelianito.
It can be found here. I came across it today and have been devouring page after page of her reflections. Talk about a total score for Lent and beyond. Enjoy!!!  I’m participating in the Keeping LOVE in LENT Blog Link-Up 2013, hosted by Raising (& Teaching) Little Saints, Truly Rich Mom and Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families. We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories and real-life experiences that will help us focus on Lenten sacrifices, prayer and good deeds, and how to carry them out with LOVE instead of a GRUMBLE. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of link-up entries. Okay... so this particular link-up entry almost didn't happen. It's barely here now (hence the title). I was looking forward to sitting down to write about purificators, the sacrifice of Our Lady, SOMETHING inspiring or fitting for Lent. Instead, I'm a jumble of grumble and that's about as far from the Holy Road as it gets. So I sat at my screen trying to write about the Stations of the Cross. I had a great lesson with my 6th grade CCD class explaining this prayer. Nope. For as awesome as my class was, what happened AFTER class caused such anger within me that all I could think about was bashing my head into a wall. Terrible, right? As a result, I almost removed myself from the link-up. I didn't think it right of me to participate when all I had to offer was ire and crankiness. So I took some time away from the computer, put my little one to bed, and laid next to him as he fell asleep. I was still stewing over the conversation. After class, as I watched my kids trickle away one by one, a parent stopped me about her child's report card. Mind you, report cards were given out a couple weeks ago. She immediately got in my face accusing me of not contacting her regarding her son's lack of homework (I'd marked his grade as unsatisfactory). I calmly pointed out I'd attempted to, three times, but was unsuccessful each time on account of her phone line (no voice mail or answering machine). This parent had also neglected to fill out the cards I'd sent home in the beginning of the year requesting e-mail addresses / alternate phone numbers. Finally, with her STILL accusing me of ignoring the issue since I apparently could've "tried harder" to reach her, I pointed out - ON THE REPORT CARD she had signed- that I'd requested contact information be submitted to me as I wished to speak with her regarding her son's progress. Even after having the proof stare her in the face, she continued to huff - PUBLICLY - and make a scene in front of the building. It took a lot of willpower not to react in a vicious manner as I was both angry and embarrassed at the very untrue accusations.  So why am I still writing about it? Why did I decide to stay part of the link up? Well, as I was laying in bed with Vince, I said a begrudging prayer "giving" to God my frustration in the hopes He could use it for something beneficial. As if by lightning, I thought of Jesus as He stumbled up Calvary and remembered all the folks who shouted awful accusations at Him. I realized that time and again Jesus had attempted to reach out to these folks through His many teachings, healings and miracles, but still they neglected to care. My experience with the angry parent tonight was not even a fraction of the indignation Christ endured on the Way of the Cross. Yet I understood the frustration Christ no doubt felt as His people mocked Him and hurled terrible insults at Him as He walked towards Golgotha. There He was, having emptied Himself through love, innocent of any wrong-doing, and still He was crucified like a criminal. So reflecting on my ire, I saw myself in the parent as I egged on Christ through my obstinece. Each and every sin I commit is like a kick to His Ribs. Every word I speak out of turn is a cruel insult as He struggles under the weight of the Cross. How could I pity Christ crucified when I, myself, am the one who many times does the crucifying? I leapt out of bed, then, as the realization struck that the parent was sent to remind me of my own part in the Way of the Cross. I can either be Simon and help Christ carry the load through following His Path, or I can be one of the mob who gathered to jeer, spit and ridicule Him. That sobered me up and I recollected myself with prayers seeking the grace to steer back towards the Way of Christ. As of now, I have no anger. It has dissipated and I have to admit being thankful for the experience. So I guess my Lenten advice is to offer any and all frustrations to God. He'll know what to do with them. He always does. :) Have a blessed Lent, everyone! Oh, and since you've all been kind enough to stop by, check out the Big Lenten Giveaway I'm hosting. 16 wonderful items to help you or a loved one on their Lenten Journey! :) Thanks for stopping by!  Check out the Lent reflections participating in the Keep LOVE in LENT Blog Link-Up 2013! We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories and real-life experiences that will help us focus on Lenten sacrifices, prayer and good deeds, and how to carry them out with LOVE instead of a GRUMBLE. Discover new Catholic Blogs to follow! Equipping CatholicFamilies: Keep LOVE in LENT Call Her Happy:40 Simple Lenten Activities for Kids Lenten Love: Little Acts of Love Building Rocks Grow the Roses: Keep Love in Lent Family At The Foot Of The Cross: Loving Service Catholic Homeschooling Joy: A Lenten Activity JOY:Keep the Love in Lent Twenty Tuesday Afternoons: Tuesday # 11: Pancake Tuesday / Keeping Love in Lent Campfires and Cleats: Why a Failing Lent Really Isn't Harrington Harmonies: Make a Lenten Holy Hour A Mommy of Three:Good Deeds for Lent Loving the Semi Country Life: Lent:special time to reflect and keep the love in lent Written By the Finger of God: A 7 Step Lenten Plan Mommy Bares All: Giving Up and Making Space for Love this Lent The Irish Lassie Shop: Seek God Everywhere Hand-Maid with Love: Living Lent, Loving Lent Words On Heaven: IN THE DESERT FOR 40 DAYS On The Way Home: Keeping LOVE in Lent Homeschooling with Joy: Keep Love in Lent Mountain Grace: Keep Love in Lent Eyes On Heaven: I am Choosing to Live Joy Alive in Our Hearts:"God's Love at Work" Life of Fortunate Chances: Love is Fun: Keeping Love in Lent Fifth of Five: Keep the LOVE in Lent I Blog Jesus: for Praying our Loud! Overflow: Loving Lent with Little Ones This Cross I Embrace: Keep LOVE In Lent Sole Searching Mamma: 15 Ways to Experience a More Meaningful Lent Catholic All Year: My Biggest Lent Fails and How I Learned Mortification... Four Little Ones: Keeping Love in Lent Gaels Crafty Treasures Keeping Love in Lent Bear Wrongs Patiently: Lent for the Scrupulous Rosary Mom: Keeping Love in Lent LoveLetters 7.10: Teacups {Keeping the Love in Lent} Little Saints in the Making: Keep Love in Lent Blessed with Full Hands: Keeping love in Lent- Praise Him Normal Chaos: Our Own Personalized Lenten Journey These Little Blessings: Gifting Love this Lent The Cajun Catholic: The our Father; a lenten reflection Truly Rich Mom: Keeping Love in Lent... Even When It Is Difficult GATHERING GRACES:Keeping LOVE in LENT SaIsa Pang Sulyap - Fullness Of His Love LiturgicalTime: Keeping Love in Lent - Finding Balance Grace Loves Iggy: love in lent Sacred Oysters: Empty (Keeping LOVE in LENT) Tercets:Make Heart Rosary Decades to Pray for Others The Diary of a Sower: Our Lenten Prayer Tree Because sometimes it's too easy to lose sight of all the blessings God gives, I'm taking a quick moment to thank Him for all the incredible things I've been given.  My wonderful husband and our sacramental marriage... even for the fight it took getting our marriage in order. I admit it was nice to fall in love all over again with him. He's still just so darn adorable, and he always makes me laugh. Watching him with Vince makes my heart smile and his hardworking spirit is unparalleled. He is a strong, reliable man who continuously makes me the happiest woman ever. *Dopey grin*  Then of course my little munch. I'm always thankful for his little face! Do you know that when he woke up from his nap he immediately sat up to kiss me? He then pulled me next to him on the bed for snuggles and kissed me over and over again. He's got me wrapped around his chubby little finger, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So thanks, Lord, for my perfect little munchkin.  Not a recent shot by any stretch, but it's probably the most recent with all of us together. Anyway, thanks for my family, too. The relationship I've had with all of them has changed so drastically over the last few years. I look forward to spending time with them and relish the time we do get together. So thanks for them as well.  For my friends - now the rag-tag bunch above doesn't encompass them all. In fact, my two besties aren't even pictured up there. But this picture is pretty much exactly why I love those buddies whom I call friend. They are full of life, fun and joy. They're always there to put an arm around you, point out something ridiculous, or try to hang you with a scarf. Heh. I'm lucky to have people like Mary, Frank and Faith in my life... blessed beyond words.  My job. I STILL love my job. Even after the last two weeks that have beaten me mercilessly into a pulp, I STILL go in with the biggest smile on my face. The above picture was taken about three hours after everyone else had left. The four other cars in the lot belonged to the cleaning staff. I took this photo from my boss's office when the cleaning staff told me the parking lot was all the proof I needed that I shouldn't still be sitting at my computer screen. I snapped the shot and laughed because ya know what? I love my job enough that I WANT to stay late. I WANT to give everything I've got because there, I know for a fact I'm useful. I know for a fact I'm doing something that makes a difference. I'm doing something that helps other people and will make a brighter future for someone, somewhere. So no matter how terrible my days are - no matter how overwhelmed I am with the responsibilities that are handed over - I have that. And to boot, I've simply got the most amazing set of coworkers ever. So yeah, God... thanks for them, too. You set me up with an incredible job with some of your best people. Thank you so much. :)  And my faith, Lord. You may not have given me the gift of tongues. You certainly didn't grant me wisdom or prophecy. You did, however, see fit to grant me an unshakable faith in You and Your Divine Plan. Without it, I don't know where I'd be or how I'd function. So thank you for the seed of faith you gave me and nurtured so carefully within me. I appreciate that more than any of the other blessings I've thus far listed.
So for these, and all other blessings, I give my most gracious thanks. You are amazing. I cannot possibly imagine a happier point in my life. Thank you. :)  So I did the normal fast today. Salad for lunch, fish and rice for dinner, nothing in between. Didn't complain, didn't reach for all the goodies around me.
But ya know what? In my mind, I was counting down the hours (then the minutes and eventually the seconds) until midnight rolled around so I could gorge myself stupid on leftover Chinese food. Blah. It's quarter after midnight, the plate is empty, and I feel like a cheat. Does it really count as a proper fast when you're counting down like that? I can't imagine Jesus was going "Okay, just a few more minutes of this crucifixion business before I can finally call it quits." That realization makes me feel like such a wimp. It's not like He asked me to give up food for a week. He didn't even ask me to give it up for a whole day. So why am I shuffling around as the last seconds tick by on Friday so I can devour the pork fried rice on a technicality? Le sigh. This fasting stuff is just not for me. I'm terrible at it. Gluttony and I? We get along so well - especially when she's dressed up in Chinese takeout. And pizza. But I digress. Lent is about penance, prayer and almsgiving. As Archbishop Chaput said, prayer is the center of this Lenten chain since prayer reorders us properly to the Light of God. Penance and almsgiving (a proper reordering of our relationship to self and others) comes naturally from a prayerful attitude. My shuffling around in anticipation of midnight isn't what I'd call prayerful. So I guess I need to focus a little more on the prayer aspect of Lent. I can't do the penance / almsgiving portion right if I don't have that centerpiece in place, can I? I need to work on this whole "dying to self" business. May we all reach the end of Lent as professionals. ;)  Fr. Gospel took the theme of humility and went to town. He explained that all of the readings were hinged on humility and the need for humility if one wishes to be a servant of God.
The prophet, Isaiah, saw a vision of God in which he fell to the ground because of his unworthiness. Isaiah was royalty! Who was he to fall at the Feet of the Lord with feelings of unworthiness? He could have said, "Well, I, too, am a king! Here is my dominion!" Instead, Isaiah cast aside any thoughts of grandeur and surrendered to the Glory of God that filled the whole earth. As a result of this humility, an angel came with a burning ember from the altar of the Lord and touched it to Isaiah's lips. This flaming bit of sacred wood burnt away Isaiah's sin and prepared him to become a sacred servant of God. Here's the cool connection - the priest explained this as a precursor to the Mass. We come before God and recognize our unworthiness. In His Mercy, God sends us the burning ember of the Cross to purge us of our sin. Christ's Sacrifice is our salvation, and just as the ember was dispatched to Isaiah from God's altar, so too, does Christ's Sacrifice come to us through God's altar. Christ's Body, the Perfect Holocaust, passes through our lips to cleanse us body and soul that we may be transformed, going forth to become true servants of God. In order for this transformation to take place, however, we need Isaiah's humility. We need to admit our faults to God just as Isaiah cried out his unworthiness. Isaiah cried out to the angels. We were given our priests in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We would do well to take part in this Sacrament often as a way to show humility to God and prepare to receive Him in the Eucharist. So that was the cool connection for me. I never thought of the ember being touched to Isaiah's lips as anything more than a burning piece of charcoal or something that was a symbol of his purification. Now I realize it was another example of God's foreshadowing the even greater purification that would take place for all His children through Christ. I admit... I love connections like that!  Just a heads up to those of you who have either ordered or planned to order the Miraculous Medal Chandeliers from the shop, please be aware that these earrings are back-ordered as the manufacturer of the medals I used is apparently having trouble getting their stock of centerpieces back in.
I've issued refunds to those of you who placed the order as I don't want you waiting indefinitely for them to arrive. My apologies! Also, since I've never had to issue a refund before, if those of you who received the refund would let me know everything went smoothly, I'd appreciate it. I'm sorry for the delay, but I appreciate your understanding. Thanks again for your patronage! ~Gina Since I've still got plenty of beads and yarn to work with, I tried to figure out a fun Lenten craft that would use them up! I lucked upon some cheap foam sheets at Walmart and put the two together. Fun was the result! Since Ash Wednesday falls on the day before Valentine's Day this year, I decided to combine my Lent and Valentine's Day crafts. To prep my students for the upcoming craft, I spent Tuesday night's lesson explaining to them the purpose of Lent and why we prepare through prayer and sacrifice. We spent a good portion of the class going through the Triduum and why that is considering the most sacred time of year for Catholics. Since Jesus was willing to sacrifice so much for us, it's only fitting that we return His love by showing our love for Him by loving others. So this coming week, we're going to be doing Valentine's to Jesus, but instead of simple "I love you Jesus" messages, we're going to be offering LENTEN Valentines. I'm having the kids mark down things they'd like to both give up as a sacrifice and do for others as a sign of love. They'll put their ideas onto the foam sheets and frame them out with decorations and symbols of their faith. To further prepare, I mocked up these samples:  The first one is a combination of Love Letter and Sacrifice Beading. I took 40 purple beads to signify the 40 days of Lent and strung them along four strings of yarn. For each time the child resists temptation, a bead can be moved down the line. This is a good way to help children see the progress they're making and give them a sense of accomplishment. The beads along the bottom are red, white and blue. They weren't chosen because I was feeling patriotic. Instead, I chose them to provide special meaning for "gifts of love" done by the child. Red is to remind us of the pain that sometimes comes along with sacrifice. Jesus gave us the gift of Eternal Life, but it came at the cost of His Blood. Thus, when we sacrifice things during Lent, we should aim to sacrifice things that might be a little difficult (like video games, candy, fast food or shoe shopping!). White is to remind us of the purity of God's gift. The Father did not force the Son to sacrifice Himself for us. Jesus was not guilty of anything. Instead, Jesus's motive for coming to earth to die was pure. His Sacrifice was driven purely by love. Our sacrifices duing Lent should also be driven by love. Blue is to remind us of the Blessed Mother. She, too, consented to take part in these Sorrowful Mysteries because she knew it was necessary for God's children to return to Heaven. When I explained this to the kids last week, I likened Our Lady to a firefighter's mother. If a firefighter knows a baby is at the top of a burning building, what does he do? He runs up to the top of the building to save that baby! It's his job! It's what he chose to do with his life because he cares about others and wants to spend his life helping them! Would his mother object to him trying to save the baby? Would she have jumped in front of him and sacrifice the life of the baby? No. Why? Because she understands he has to save the baby. She knows the baby would die without her hero son, and so she suffers the fear and pain of losing her son because being a fireman is who he is. Just like that fireman was born to save lives, Jesus was born to save humanity. Thus, Our Lady consented to the fear and pain that went along with seeing Her Beloved Son die so that we could all gain eternal life. In my Lenten meditations, I always tend to stick with my sacrifices better when comparing them to hers. If she could do that, I can give up fries and junk food, ya know? So I put the blue ones in there in case the kids want to do something similar.  Put a magnet on the back and you can hang it up on your fridge so you can keep track in an easy-to-reach spot! The next one is a horizontal frame that includes three "give up X" and three "do X for others" items. I alternated them and to denote which was which, I placed either a heart (for loving others) or a cross (for sacrifice) above or below the corresponding picture.  I'm a terrible artist, so forgive me. I used Sharpie markers for this one. I chose three typical sacrifices to showcase as ideas: Fast food, chocolate and mean / angry language. For the "love others" items, I chose organization, prayer and monetary donations. Obviously these pictures can vary based on the child's choices. I liked putting the "Lead me to Your Cross, dear Jesus!" at the bottom, though. It just seemed to fit. Sacrifice undoubtedly leads us to Christ, and loving others through things like prayer and help are about as Christ-like as you can get! I chose to make slits in the frame to give the smaller foam piece a place to anchor into. No glue necessary! Just make the slits with a knife or pair of scissors. Finally, I made the more "traditional" Valentine card. It's very simple and made mostly with the little foam stickers I found in my travels. I did end up hot gluing the red piece onto the white background for this one.  Fish on Fridays, remembering to make my bed in the morning, and making a concentrated effort to pray with faith - no empty words here!!! So those are just a few of the fun little projects you can do with your kids / classes. It will give the children a chance to really think about and express their love for Jesus while preparing for the Lenten / Easter season. Enjoy! Thanks to Anabelle for the reminder to link this up! All you other fine bloggers out there, don't forget to link your crafty posts to places like Catholic Bloggers Network and Raising Little Saints! Other folks out there are looking for ideas JUST LIKE YOURS, so help them out by linking up!
Right after I'd given birth to Vince, my friend, Mary, came by with a thousand gallons of sausage soup. She stored that stuff in the freezer and fridge so I had ready-made food to eat while attempting to juggle the demands of a newborn. By the way, that's the best idea ever. If you're gonna get a new mom something, get her homemade food she can heat up and scarf down while nursing an infant to sleep. Best - idea - ever. Anyway, ever since then, I've been in love with sausage soup. I've taken the recipe Mary gave me and stretched it out a bit to encompass my love for tomato soup. When winter rolls around, I typically make two or three batches of it. Be prepared, though. The soup will not stick around long because it's just too darn good. That being said, you can get a lot out of this hearty meal! Tonight I made another batch since I wanted to finish up some canned beans I had handy (any will do). For those of you who want to treat yourself to a new recipe, here's what I did: 
I raided my pantry for beans, tomato soup and chicken broth. There was a sale not too long ago on tomato soup and I stocked up considering tomato soup is like gold in this house. It just goes with everything. This particular chicken broth is "w/ Roasted Garlic" and adds a nice flavor to the base. Beans are in there for variety and protein, adding to the "heartiness" of the end dish. I opened these cans and mixed them in the largest of my pots over low heat. Then I got to work with my sausage. Two family-size packages of Italian sausage: one sweet and one spicy! 
While the soup base is heating up, I open both packages of sausage and begin peeling the casing off. This is easily done with a short knife. Make a quick slice down the center of the sausage and simply peel back the casing, discarding it. Before tossing the freshly peeled sausage into a pan with oil, get messy by ripping it into smaller chunks. 
Gross looking, okay, but you can see what I mean with the casing. Don't forget to take it off!
Once the naked sausages bits are cooking, get them brown. Don't be afraid to "overcook" them a bit. I love the caramelized taste and texture super-browned sausage gives. It offsets some of the kick that comes with the spicy variety and it's downright satisfying to chew. 
While the sausage is cooking up, I take a moment to slice the canned potatoes. Feel free to use uncanned potatoes. I just find it easier to use the canned stuff, especially when I'm able to get them on sale for dirt cheap. By the time you finish cutting up the potatoes, the sausage should be sufficiently browned. Since I like my sausage bits super small in the soup (almost like chili), I grind the ripped bits in a food processor for a few seconds before browning them again. You don't have to do that. I just like doing it because I prefer the texture smaller chunks gives the soup. Plus, it's always entertaining to see my cats scurry away in fear of the magic machine that eats what I'm sure they assume is their rightful food. 
Round two... FIGHT!
When I feel as though the sausage has browned enough, I toss it into the soup base that's been simmering in the large pot. I always start with the sweet sausage and gradually add the spicy stuff. I tend to get equal amounts of spicy vs. sweet sausage, but some brands are just more spicy than others. 
After stirring in the sweet sausage
At this point, I'm usually able to gauge if I'll need extra base. I decided to add an extra two cans of tomato soup and an extra can of broth to the mix while my spicy sausage was browning. Take note of where my little handle buttons are. They typically come close to disappearing by the time I'm done adding everything. When I make batches... I go to town. :) 
The rich red color you now see is a result of the extra tomato soup and the addition of spicy sausage. Already the level has risen to just under the remaining buttons. You can see how much meat, potatoes and beans are in this bad boy. I could've added an extra can or two of broth, but I really enjoy my sausage soup almost chili-like in consistency. Every bite needs to feel like I'm chewing into a burger. John likes it that way, too, so leaving the ratio of sausage and beans to broth like this works for us. At this point I typically add a chopped white onion to the soup. Somehow, they always retain their crunchiness, even throughout storage and reheating. If I had any leftover pasta bits, I'd throw them in, too, but I didn't have any on hand tonight, so this sufficed. I did, however, add freshly grated pecorino romano cheese to the top of my bowl. That tastes magnificent with this soup. 
One bowl and you'll be full for hours. It's such a hearty, delicious soup! John was so excited that I'd made another batch that he told our friend, Frank, they'd be eating lunch at our house tomorrow so they could share some! We'll happily subsist on this for lunch and dinner for days without getting tired of it. It's just so perfect for the chilly months, and I always feel as though I've gotten a great, fast meal for pennies because these batches really stretch!
So that, dear Internet, is my gift to you. A twist on a favorite given to me by my friend, Mary. Thanks, Mar!!! My friend, Faith, got Vince a super cool sleeping bag for Christmas. He uses it for nap time at daycare almost every week. As a result of the constant use, the velcro straps on the ends have become relatively useless as of late. So, I decided to try fixing it with a single velcro strap that went around the middle of the entire bag instead of around the two sides. I originally wanted a buckle, but I couldn't find one of those snap buckles (the kind on high chairs?). So I went with velcro since it was cheap and easy to use. I did a quick measure of where the stitch would need to go and set that bad boy through my sewing machine. Again, success! I really enjoy short little projects like this because I end up feeling productive and motivated to try again. So that's my advice to newbs out there like myself. Keep trying your hand at the little things. Build up your confidence and motivation through them. They'll hone your basic skills and introduce you to new ones little by little. Yay!  Again, straight lines just aren't my thing yet.  But it WORKS, and that's the important thing. Woo hoo! So I saw this adorable idea on Pinterest the other day. I don't have a Pinterest account, but I do regularly see "pins" on Facebook and this particular one caught my eye. An easy apron you can make out of a potholder and a dishtowel? Color me intrigued. So off I go to find a cute potholder / dishtowel duo that can serve as my base. Here's what I found (Walmart for $3!):  The set came with two square potholders, a mitt, three towels and a washcloth. Not bad for $3. Material definitely isn't the best, but I figure $3 on a practice project is $3 well spent, especially when I can get several projects outta the pack! So anyway, I decided to give the project a go tonight after I picked up the pink ribbon you see above. I cut the towel a little less than halfway through. I wanted the pattern of little cupcakes to still show up in a way that didn't look odd when completed. Unfortunately, I underestimated the fabric allowance I'd need to fold over to sew a decent looking seam. As a result, the lines aren't straight again and I think the cupcakes ended up being on a slight angle. Meh... gives it some character. *Grin*  Pinning this way was not my smartest move.  Totally zigged when I shoulda zagged. From here I decided I should attempt to fold down the corners of my little rectangle so I could sew the potholder onto the towel. I eye-balled two triangles on either side of the top and sewed them in place. I didn't take pictures of this part - though I really should've - because I didn't want to stop since I'd finally gotten things working right. Those triangles taught me the importance of having an iron handy. I don't think I'd've been able to sew those seams closed had I not had the iron to help me make the creases that would hold down the fabric. So yes! Irons really DO make all the difference in the world. Who knew? Once the triangles were in place, I took on the potholder. I measured the seam out to where I thought it should go. GLORIOUS mistake on this one. Since I was sewing backside (to keep the stitch colors where I wanted them) I didn't see that my measurement was way off until I flipped the pieces over to view my not-so-handy-work. I actually laughed. This is what it looked like:  That's not under the cupcake!!! Oh well. I figured I may as well continue making as many mistakes as possible with this one. Get 'em out of the way so when I try my hand at this again, I won't have so many goofs to take photos of. Ha ha! Once the potholder was attached, I decided to put a ribbon across the center as a little belt. It'd cover the stitching error and would add a touch of cute (as if cupcakes weren't adorable enough!). So I grabbed the ribbon and was pleasantly surprised to find that it folded out into 2 inch fabric! It's not real ribbon... it's something called bias tape. Worked for me! So I unfolded it out and cut a center piece for the belt. Again, I eye-balled it since I'm not really sure what I'd be measuring anyway since I didn't start out with any sizes. I then folded those and sewed the ends into place.  Note to self: Choose ribbon that is actually opaque next time. I decided against sewing the belt down the center because after I secured both sides, it actually sat pretty flat against the potholder. I felt that adding a sewing line would be silly. Granted, I would've gotten practice sewing in a straight line, but I think it looks cute enough without the line and I do plan to give this to my niece. Anyway, after the belt was secured, I attached the ribbons to tie in the back and around the neck. Those were simple enough. Once completed, I was pretty pleased with myself. It took me about an hour and a half to accomplish (mostly because I was fighting with my machine), but all in all, this was a really good practice run and I learned a few new things about my machine and the sewing process. Plus, I feel like I'm an expert threader now that I've had to do it about a bazillion times. Win-win, right? Here's the trial run apron. Can't wait to see what the 2nd one looks like! I sincerely hope a year from now I have enough practice that I can look back at this photo and cringe in horror. Right now, though, I'm basking in my success, even if it's the messy sort. :)  I think I'm gonna do blue ribbons for the ties next go around...  Back to the questions after a bit of a hiatus!
Most of the questions revolved around therapy. That being said, therapy is going to be different for everyone. Therapists, themselves, are going to be different, so please don't take my experience as gospel. What sort of things did the psychologist have you do? Mostly communication exercises. John and I have very different ways of approaching a conversation. We also have very different ways of participating in those conversations. Thus, we needed help altering our communication styles so we could become more in-sync with each other's needs. The most pain-staking exercise for me was something called a "10." Each night for a week, the two of us had to sit down and take turns sharing something - anything. The idea was to spend the first five minutes expressing an emotion ("I was so elated that the sun was shining today. Feeling the warm sunshine made me want to run through a park and eat ice cream. I had a smile on my face the whole day because I could look out the window and see that sun... it was wonderful!"). The next five minutes, the listener had to paraphrase the previous five minutes. So it's like two students learning Spanish. The first student says a few lines in Spanish and the second one has to translate. That's exactly what a "10" was. John would speak in his language for a few minutes and then I'd have to translate what he just said. John would give feedback on what I got right or didn't get right (or vice versa), and that made up our 10 each day. I HATED those stupid tens. At the same time, however, I looked forward to them because it was 10 minutes we were forced to talk to one another. We were forced to be together and focus solely on each other, and I admit that was nice. Even John enjoyed the tens for that reason. But yes, I hated them because, quite frankly, talking about emotions is about as comfortable as boiling lava. Even now, just thinking about it, I have an intense disdain for the idea of it. One time I stormed out of the room ranting, "You wanna talk about emotions and touchy-feely crap? Find me when you grow a set, because this is disgusting. I hate it, it's stupid, and I don't need some shrink trying to get me in touch with my emotions when I do well enough on my own without them." Terrible, right? And I'm about 99% sure my language was more colorful than that. I have such a visceral disgust for discussing emotions that I really did need to be trained into doing it. I have a tendency to discuss things clinically. It's less messy that way. It's safer that way. I detach from emotions quickly and that detachment is what helped me survive years of emotional abuse. So trying to unlearn the habit that sustained me from my earliest days was a really ugly process. Unfortunately, it had to be done because emotion is where John flourished. He hated how clinical I was with everything. Whenever an argument would arise, he'd complain I'd handle things like a lawyer. I'd argue facts and bring up evidence to support my case, but never once did I validate his feelings on the matter. Never once did I consent to allow his feelings to play any role in the flow of an argument. Quite frankly, any time he'd bring up his feelings I'd tear into him cruelly because feelings, in my mind, had no place in an argument. Feelings were pointless little things because they weren't rational. They weren't reasoned. You could "feel" whatever and have no basis for it. So "feelings," to me, were excuses. Whiny, disgusting little excuses. And yet they do belong in arguments, and that was something I struggled with in therapy. I still struggle, but it's something I've gotten a bit better at confronting, especially since the touchy-feely stuff is the language John gets. As for John, I think he was expecting the psychologist to take his side (being a man and all). He was surprised when the psychologist defended my position on family and friends when John complained that I no longer hung out with his group. He complained openly that I was no longer fun because all I did was stay home with Vince. He complained that I didn't see a need for a sitter until Vince was a year old, and that I'd grown apart from mutual friends because of my reclusive nature. The psychologist noted that I wasn't reclusive, my priorities had just shifted. Since most of John's friends - at that point - were still unmarried, single and childless, their priorities were on an entirely separate track than mine. John, being torn between the two, hadn't yet figured that out and needed to realize he was putting undue pressure on the marriage by having expectations of that didn't match circumstance. He wanted to continue living the life his single, childless friends were living, but at the same time he wanted to be a responsible father and husband. He saw me being doing the latter and the psychologist noted that my responsibility and priority shift highlighted John's need to match up. The inadequacy John felt as a result of not matching my priorities caused the rift, and instead of taking responsibility for his own mismatched priorities, he blamed me. Thus, I think for John he got a lesson in reality checks. Being a very clinical and rational person, I understood his dilemma but had no way of expressing it other than being exasperated that he couldn't figure it out for himself. Thus, John had to take a long, hard look at his priorities and begin shifting them in a way that made him feel as though things were in their proper order. Having stretched himself too thin trying to do everything, readjusting his wants with his responsibilities was probably his biggest hurdle. But that's what psychologists are there for. They don't necessarily jump the hurdles for you, but they do point them out and give you pointers on how to get over them yourself. So that's what ours did. He'd listen to us (sometimes we were arguing, sometimes we were joking), and he'd interject when he felt the discussion was getting off-topic, he'd make sure we'd hear one another out, and he'd model proper communication for us before giving us similar "homework" via communication exercises. And like I said, we only ended up going to him a handful of times because sometimes, that's all you need... someone to point out the hurdles and give you some advice so you're able to jump them together. :) Question 6: As for formatting / cost, it varied. He was $180 per hour, so I'm glad it only took us a handful of times! That was a financial sacrifice, but he was well worth it. Other psychologists we looked at ranged from $125 all the way through $250 per hour. Formatting was pretty basic. First session was mostly questions directed at each of us individually so he could get an idea of our background and family histories. After that, it was us explaining one or two issues and then attempting to talk it out in a way that was beneficial. We'd model our current communication and he'd give pointers to help us get our ideas on the same page. He'd sometimes offer insight that would help one of us better understand the other's point of view, but he mostly stayed neutral and was there only to aid communication. No lounge chairs, no notepads full of hangmen doodles, and no waxing philosophical on the nature of love and romance. Our psychologist was strictly working to get us to communicate better with one another, and that's exactly what we needed.  Goofing off. In December, John and I attended a wedding. While there, we sat with our friends Hugh and Kim. They had just shared the news that they were expecting, and I was happily chatting to Kim about all the fun little things that women gush about when discussing pregnancies and newborns.
While we were talking, Kim reached over to Hugh and said, "I can't wait to see you as a dad. You were always so good with Tucker (their deceased dog). You're just a big kid yourself. You're going to be such a great father. You already are." My heart melted into my shoes because Hugh really is one of the most stand-up individuals I've ever come across. That kid is incredibly lucky to be finding itself blessed with Hugh for a dad. Anyway, as my heart was melting, I noticed that Hugh was tearing up. Kim noticed, too, and she patted his arm and kissed him - emotional that he was emotional over the joy their child was already bringing. I looked away then, because I knew I was witnessing something very personal... very intimate... and I felt a pang of jealousy that Hugh appreciated the gift he'd been given in a child while John could not. I said nothing of this and forced the knot in my throat to relax. Kim and I went back to discussing baby things until John joined us at the table. That week, I stewed over the issue of children again. The fact that Vincent is at that age where he demands a playmate for everything he does wasn't helping. Normally John and I don't mind getting onto the floor to play with Vincent all the time. However, the particular weekend this happened the two of us had watched Vince play for a couple hours with Alliya, ignoring us completely because he had a playmate to share his imagination with. I'll admit... it was blissful not being pulled a million times onto the floor to play with army soldiers or color or hide under a tent or do any other number of things kids enjoy doing. I'm not saying I don't like playing with my son. I am saying, however, that I don't like being his only playmate. So, the next day, John was tired from having spent the morning as Vince's personal playmate. He was expecting me to take over playmate duties for the afternoon. Problem was, I was in the middle of cooking. I was also still stewing with frustration and hurt because of various things like the conversation with Hugh and Kim above. As a result of this, I said something very spiteful with the express purpose of cutting into him. When John said, "I've been playing with him all morning. It's your turn," I sorta flipped. I found the opening I was waiting for and practically skipped into the living room to deliver the blow. I hissed, "No. He SHOULD be playing with children his own age, John. He SHOULD be playing with a sibling or two because THAT is what kids do. They play with other children, NOT their parents all the time. It's not right and it's not fair that you're too selfish to see that." I then went back to cooking, still angry and now carrying guilt for having lashed out in such a way. I wanted to apologize, but I wasn't sorry yet. I felt bad, but I knew I wasn't entirely remorseful for saying such a cruel thing. John, for his part, didn't say two words. He was angry - I knew he was angry - but I think he also felt guilty because my words had a ring of truth. So he just kept quiet, waiting for me to break the ice. And I did. A few hours later, after Vince had gone to bed, I apologized while folding the laundry. I said I was sorry, and he said, "Okay. I know you didn't mean it, so it's whatever. You were angry, and people say stuff when they're angry." I stopped folding laundry and I looked him square in the eye. I said, "John, I'm not sorry for saying what I said. I was right. He deserves to play with other kids, and that's what siblings are for. When I apologized, I was saying sorry for how and why I said it. Yes, I said it because I was angry, but I mostly said it because I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt you in a way that would make you understand just how hurtful this situation is to me sometimes... how hurtful it can be to Vincent." He was taken aback, I think, at the realization that I had been so spiteful. I explained further, "The last couple months, we found out about several people who are having children. Just last week, we talked to Hugh and Kim about their pregnancy and how excited you were for them to become parents... how happy you were for Hugh that he was going to experience all the things you did with Vince. Do you even feel a twinge of desire for that sort of feeling again? I do. And for as happy as I am for them, I'm also jealous that they get to experience that with one another. I'm jealous that they get to know the joy of creating life between them... that they get to share that life with family and friends... that they get to be the bearers of such happiness... that they get to unfold all the wonder and anticipation and excitement that comes from parenting for the rest of their days. I'm thrilled for them and at the same time my heart wrestles with the pain of knowing I'm denied these things. I am denied doing the one thing I was brought into this world to do, and sometimes I cannot get past that. So yes, me cutting into you that way - it was a terribly childish way of trying to force you to feel some of the pain I feel on a routine basis. I sometimes wonder if you even realize how difficult this is for me. Seeing you get happy and excited for children of you friends when you scoff at the idea of having another of your own? I just... it boggles my mind. So yes. I'm sorry for why I said what I said, because I should never want to hurt you. I'm sorry that I did hurt your feelings, and I'm pretty ashamed of myself for being so spiteful. That being said, I am NOT sorry for what was said. What I said was true and I stand behind it. I don't, however, stand behind my motive and method, so I'm sorry for that." He remained pretty quiet. I had been fighting back tears through my explanation, and I knew he was trying to figure out what to say. I still think he was pretty surprised at my reasons because he finally said he hadn't really thought about how things were from my perspective. Considering how little I bring this topic up now, he probably thought it was a dead issue. Apparently this was his wake-up call that such an issue would never really be "dead" for me. It might be something I've come to accept, but that doesn't mean it's something that makes me happy. So he remained mostly silent for the rest of the night. I finished folding my clothes and he suggested we watch a movie together. I, having retreated into myself having been spent emotionally, sat on the couch opposite him. I wanted to be by myself and away from him, but I knew that'd just make things worse. I also knew he was trying to make amends in the best way he knew how, and TV is his way of smoothing over everything. He popped something in. I don't even remember what it was at this point. What I do remember is what he did after putting it in. He came over to where I was sitting and put his head on my lap. He wanted to ask me to sit with him, but I think he was worried I'd say no. Instead, he just knelt on the floor in front of me with his head on my lap. Then, when I didn't shove him away, he put his arms around me and just laid there. Neither one of us said anything. We didn't have to. We knew, without words, that we'd reached an understanding. He'd forgiven me for being a bit of a terrible wife just then, and I'd forgiven him for forgetting just how hurtful the situation can be for me sometimes. I really appreciated that moment, because he proved yet again he's a man worth loving. He took some time to process what I'd said. He had heard me and he sympathized. He understood and took responsibility for his part, and he came over to offer comfort as best he could. Him just being there, letting me vent, accepting his part, not getting upset with me and instead forgiving me because he allowed himself to understand my perspective... it meant a lot. Within that moment I felt myself burst with love for him. Odd that such a situation... such a potential to be a powder keg... ended in me loving and appreciating him so much more. He's a good man, my husband. Again, for as much of a cross as this issue can sometimes be, I really do come to understand just how much we need fire to purify ourselves.  Fever cheeks! When I picked Vince up from daycare Thursday afternoon, he rushed over to hug me. I was relieved since normally it's a fight to drag him away from his friends. I should've known right then that something was amiss. Vince doesn't typically cuddle with me anymore. He's a rough and tumble little boy who likes to wrestle with daddy and throw balls and swing pretend swords. Cuddles are reserved for saying sorry and being sick, and he wasn't saying sorry. By the time I got to my mom's house for a visit, he was beginning to burn. I was surprised by how quickly his temperature had risen. We had been talking and laughing in the car the entire ride over. Suddenly (and it really did seem like it was out of nowhere), he became tired and lethargic. He just wanted to be cuddled up on my lap. I, of course, enjoy every second of the affection, but I also feel terrible that him being feverish is the price for those cuddles. So instead of spending the evening with my mom and sisters, I bundled Vince back into the car and took him home to a cool bath, medicine and popsicles. When I took his temp after the bath and medicine, it was hovering around 102.5. My poor little munch! He pleaded for "Mommy's bed" and I happily obliged. I laid him next to me and patted his back until he fell asleep. For as hot as his little body was, he kept trying to press himself into me, making sure as much of his body as possible was touching mine. I wasn't sure if it was to comfort himself with my presence or to help his body cool down with my cooler body temperature.  They match! Anyway, this morning I needed to get a few things done at work. I was in a quandary, though. I had no access to a babysitter (or my
husband who is away right now) and no way to get the files I needed without going into work to get them. Thus, around 9am, I took Vincent to work with me to pick them up. We were only there to grab some paperwork, but he was super excited. The boy loves elevators, and we've got three of them. He was so proud of himself for pushing the right buttons and kept trying to get my coworkers just as pumped about elevators as he was. Ha ha ha. After we left, I took him to grab sick-day essentials from the pharmacy. Not exactly Chuck-E-Cheese, but we had fun. When I got home, I made him some noodles for lunch since he had finally regained his appetite. He was also drinking plenty of liquids, so I wasn't too concerned about his need for a pediatrician. I put him down for a nap and tried to get some work done. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to access a site from home that would've helped me complete my task. Thus, when Vince woke up from his nap, I checked his temp and made sure he was well enough to travel back to Philly. He was in good spirits (though still hot) so I figured a quick trip to see Aunt Meg (my best friend's wife and current coworker) wouldn't be terrible. Ugh - I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. He was being pretty well-behaved and was so happy to be out of the house, but pretty soon, seeing new people and new things, he was off-the-wall excited. My coworkers probably thought I was making up that he had a fever because he was acting so... normal. He did, however, have the tell-tale red patches that kids typically get when feverish. Anyway, Meg must've taken Vince on the elevators about a thousand times to give me time to barrel through some reports. I was actually making pretty good time with those bad boys, too, but it was nearly impossible for me to get everything done as my attention was divided between Vince and the reports. I felt terrible. I wanted so much to help the office get done what was needed, but I quickly realized I was likely making things worse by having Vince giving chase to just about everyone and everything. That being said, my coworkers took it all in stride. My boss, having a three year old, himself, was great with Vince. I was surprised at how much Vince ended up liking him considering how stand-offish he was when he first met him. On the way home, Vincent kept asking if we would be seeing "Sannon" again. I'm not sure if he wanted to see "Sannon" so much as "Sannon's sord," (Shannon's sword) but it's nice to know Vince liked him enough to remember his name. :) I ended up relenting and realizing having an active little munch at work was a terrible idea, even if my intentions were good. There was simply no way I would be able to get everything done without forcing Meg to forego her work, so I told Russ he'd get the reports first thing on Monday. Ah well. I still feel guilty for not being able to get it all done, but Vince took priority on that one. As soon as I realized I couldn't juggle both, he won out and I took his happy little butt home. Of course the second we got home he was content to veg out in front of the TV for a bit (maybe the office running helped), but all in all I learned my lesson. I won't be taking Vince into work with me ever again, no matter how much I am freaking out about a deadline. Gah. Mom-guilt. I feel like the hospital gives you a newborn and an invisible bag to carry all your inevitable guilt as you walk out post-partum. *Grin* On the plus side, he's on the mend and his fever is finally back to double digits again. Woo! |
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