My Broken Fiat
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    • My 'Reversion'
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  • Blog
  • About / Contact Me
    • My 'Reversion'
    • Why "MyBrokenFiat?"
  • The Archive
  • Prayers

Angels and Storms

7/3/2014

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We had a loud thunderstorm last night that got Vince all sorts of upset.  He didn't want to go to bed, and I can't really blame him.  The thunder was so loud it shook the house, and the lightning looked like it was going to strike our tree any second.  

So I told him the same thing I used to tell my students who were afraid of storms:  Say "Cheese" and smile for the angels!

The lightning is the flash from their cameras and the thunder comes from their drums as they tried to get his attention.  

:)

As you can see from the video above, it ended up working pretty well.  He wasn't scared anymore and he ended up enjoying having his picture taken so much!  
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Artwork of Nuestra Señora De Guadalupe

4/15/2014

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The outside of this church belies its spacious, breezy interior with golden sunlight streaming in from every window.  It feels like you are ambling under a gazebo during a relaxing summer afternoon.  I was surprised with how massive it felt, especially when you considered the size of the image of Mary that hung high and proud behind the tabernacle.

I grinned when I noted that the pews were very modest. There were no cushions, no padding on the kneelers.  Worship isn't about creature comforts... it's about praising God.
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I captured this sacristan's head along with the tabernacle to give you an idea just how massive this piece of artwork actually is. This rendition of Our Lady of Guadalupe might be among my favorites.  She is simply beautiful, as she should be.  Above her are the words "Queen of Mexico and Empress of America."  At least I'm 99.9% sure of that, anyway.

I felt like this piece was woven or embroidered somehow.  It wasn't a painting... at least I don' think it was.  I just couldn't imagine the time it took to painstakingly stitch each glorious detail.  
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Here is a full shot of the sanctuary.  Given the scope of the Virgin's tapestry, you can imagine how large the crucifix actually is.  
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I didn't notice until after I'd taken the photo, but the detail of Christ's Face moved me.  I don't typically like the super gaunt versions of Our Lord looking anorexic (He was a carpenter - He would have been strong and broad from all His toil with wood), but I did not mind this one so much.  The artist did not shy away from the Blood that oozed from His wounds.  I appreciate that His shoulder wound and those on His knees were accounted for. So often they are forgotten.
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On either side of the Virgin stood these statues.  St. Joseph holding Jesus as a toddler and St. Juan Diego with his unfurled tilma displaying the miraculous image of Our Lady.  

I was struck by the Child Jesus' depiction with short, cropped hair.  It was styled similarly to Vincent's!  It made me think of him reaching up for John.  Usually Jesus has long curls.  I think I like this version!  Juan Diego was painted a darker color than I'd ever seen.  I liked that touch so much because so often our saints are Anglicanized and their natural skin and hair colors completely ignored for the common blond hair, blue eyed "ideal" in so many picture books.

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St. Michael and a beautiful guardian angel flank both sides of the sanctuary.  St. Michael has the power of the Holy Spirit above him while the guardian angel protects her three native charges.  I really loved this latter stained glass image.  It was very peaceful and loving.
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One of their beautiful circular stained glass windows, this one depicting the Holy Family.
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Which one of you dares to disbelieve Our Lady's intervention now?!  :)
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A fitting painting for above the confessional - Jesus saving St. Peter from his own lack of faith.
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A couple of their stations.  I'm always appreciative when the Resurrection is included.  :)
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I probably should've mentioned these last two points in my other blog entry, but here will do just fine.

Instead of having lay ministers, this parish utilizes the Brides of Christ to bring Communion to the people.  I'm not the biggest fan of women acting as Eucharistic Ministers, but if you're going to allow it, I can't imagine a better way.  

Also, the altar servers sat at opposites sides of the sanctuary facing one another (behind the altar but in front of the tabernacle).  I thought they were very much like the Seraphim who guarded the Ark of the Covenant.  It made me smile to think of them as such given their constant gaze upon the tabernacle.
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Finally, a photo of me (graciously taken by my husband) with a frond of palm across from the church.  On the way back to the resort, I braided what turned out to be four long leaves into small crowns for my statues at home.  

All in all, a beautiful experience at a wonderful parish... even if I couldn't understand all the words being spoken, I could feel the love.  For me, that is enough.
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Crucifix Giveaway

3/16/2014

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Forgive my tardiness.  I had originally planned to post this Giveaway on Friday, but Uncle Billy's funeral went longer than I had anticipated.

However, here it is!

I'm excited to announce that I'll be giving away four different crucifixes, each a beautiful bit or art.
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First up is this amazing Stations of the Cross crucifix.  The little boxes each depict a different station.  It's small enough to really use as a prayer tool, but it's obviously great to hang on the wall, too.

I just found the size perfect to keep by my bedside for personal prayer.  It's like having the Stations of the Cross in my parish church right in the palm of my hand!

So for Lent, I thought this was a very fitting prize for those looking to deepen their understanding of (and appreciation for) Christ's Passion.

It's just magnificent.

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Next in line is a dream for those devotees of Divine Mercy. St. Faustina joins Christ as Divine Mercy onto this wood cross.  The "shine" you see is the reflective gold paint the artist used to create a border and accents.  

Three doting cherubs look down in wonder at the gift of Divine Mercy while St. Faustina is consistently at prayer for all of her "poor souls."

This is the largest crucifix in the giveaway, standing at 12" high, this would be great as an entryway crucifix.  It is bold, different, and a great reminder that Christ's death, though terrible, was, in fact, a gift of Divine Mercy.  He died not to condemn, but to reconcile.  

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Again, sorry for the glare.  I was taking these images with an iPhone, so not all of them came out as nicely as I'd hoped.  

Anyway, this is a truly beautiful crucifix.  It's called an "Archangels Crucifix" because of the presence of St. Gabriel (holding the lillies to signify purity and truth), St. Raphael (holding a staff to represent healing) and St. Michael at the foot of the cross defeating the serpent.  At the top, these three archangels lead the "host of angels" behind them in prayer and contemplation of the Triune Sacrifice a the center of the cross.  

This colorful cross is about 6" high and is STUNNING.

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Finally, we have this little guy.

This is a small cross depicting the Trinity in all their infamous iconic appearances.  Each branch of the cross contains a different variation on well-known iconography of the Most Holy Trinity.

I love this because of the way it forces folks to remember that we didn't just sacrifice Christ on Calvary.  The sacrifice was a TRIUNE sacrifice.  God the Father and the Holy Spirit took just as much an active role in this mercy as Jesus.  This beautiful cross depicts their loving, united relationship so wonderfully.  

Even at only 3.5" it packs a powerful punch!

Okay, so now that you've seen these beauties, directions on how to enter are below!

Good luck and again... may your Lent continue to be blessed!
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Just Cry and Offer

3/10/2014

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When the pain of loss seems too great to bear, and when the grief comes coursing in to crush the very breath from your lungs, fix your eyes on the Blessed Mother as she gazes upon her Son, gasping away His Life for love of us.

Allow the tears to come.  Offer your tears together with hers... hers that shine like diamonds and are collected by the angels as tokens of mercy.  

Accept the emptiness as it threatens to swallow you.  Allow the weight of desolation to shatter your heart - your very soul - but do not despair.

For where God destroys, He creates.  These mournful remains can thus rejoice and offer themselves as ready sacrifice for the new Life that comes in their place.

"I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you." Ez. 36:26

Blessed Mother, be my strength.  I am having a really, really hard time accepting Myla's absence right now.  

That television show... it was as if I was being pinned to a surgical table to have my heart sliced open by a scalpel.

But I see, I see.  The tears wash away the clutter from my eyes, and the crushing grief just reminds me that I have something left to offer.  It is yours... the pain and tears that echo softly your own.  Tender Mother, hold her for me.  Hold her and tell her all the things that I never got the chance to say.  Allow her to be the delight of your Son since she could not be the delight of mine.  Bring her often to see her Father so that He can tell her about the Daddy she left behind.  Guide me daily with Vincent so that I can be worthy of meeting her one day.

Grief, folks.  It still exists.  Every day.  Sometimes you're granted respite.  Sometimes you're asked to experience it more keenly.  But it's always there.  

That is at it should be.  There can be no grief if there is not, first, love.  And love is forever.

And love, Myla Therese, is exactly what you were created by.
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On Free Will and Evil

6/12/2012

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This entire entry stems from a thread regarding the "creation of evil" and free will.  I wanted to post it here as well because I think it's a great conversation! 
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God grants us Free Will
God is the Supreme Author of creation... all things visible and invisible.  Our creed states as much.  However, does this mean He created evil as well? 

My answer is no.  Evil is not a thing to be created.  It is a choice.  One cannot "create" love, one can only choose it, right? 

The same holds true for evil.  One cannot "create" evil.  One can only choose it.  God, being Supremely wise, holy and loving, has the capacity for evil. 

However (and this is a big however), being that He is Supremely wise, holy and loving, He eternally CHOOSES goodness.  He eternally chooses love.  THIS is the gift of Free Will that He imparted to us.  If God doesn't have the capacity for evil, then God is not all-powerful.  God wouldn't 'need' free will because He'd be incapable of evil.  However, God IS all-powerful.  The difference between Him and the rest of us, however, is that He's always chosen goodness and love over evil and hatred.  Thus, God must have free will if He was able to grant it to us as a gift.

So, keeping His Perfect Example of free will in mind, let's move on.

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God created the angels before humanity.  Angels are purely spiritual beings that were also granted the grace of free will.  We are taught through tradition that one third of these angels utilized their free will in opposition to the Divine Will of God (His Divine Will being Supreme Goodness).  As a result, these angels were cast away from His Divine Presence (since to be united to God is to be united with His Will - which is Love above all else).

God did not cast them aside in judgement.  They chose to dislodge themselves from His Goodness through pride.  As a result, God, in His Goodness, created a place for them separate from the other angels who chose Goodness.  Basically, He put the "bad kids" in the corner so they didn't disrupt the rest of the class.  Those who wanted to continue to grow in love and understanding of God could remain with Him in Heaven.

Then God deemed it time for the physical realm to spring forth.  After setting things into motion, He chose to bestow upon humanity the same gift given to the angels - free will.  However, humans are intrinsically different from angels.  Angels are purely spiritual beings.  Humans are the union of body and soul (which is why Catholics believe in the "resurrection of the dead").  As such, our free will is going to be utilized differently from that of the angels (though with the same premise... freely choosing good over evil). 

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Eden was a physical realm that was in perfect union with the Will of God - Adam and Eve included.  Genesis states as much when it writes of Adam "walking blameless before God."  Adam's will was united to that of God's Divine Will, and there was peace.  Eve, too, lived in union with God's Will.  Until, that is, she meets up with a pesky little snake.

As we all remember from our elementary days, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were located in the center of Eden.  The Tree of Knowledge, when we trace it back to it's Jewish roots, was known as the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.  This is an important distinction because Jewish tradition understands this Tree to be the mixture of good and evil.  Until humanity (through Adam and Eve) ingested this fruit (thus introducing the conflict of evil), good was humanity's nature.  Evil was something altogether separate that had no place in the nature of humanity.  We simply understood and trusted that God knew best, and we willingly went along with the plans He set forth because we naturally understood Him to have our best interests at heart.

That changed due to the 1st sin (which was Pride, not disobedience).  When the serpent suggested to Eve that she could gain the knowledge that God had and begin making her OWN plans that would be even better than those of God, she was feeling the temptation of pride.  When she acted out in eating the fruit, it was not disobedience that goaded her... it was her own pride.  Her mistaken belief that she could somehow gain wisdom above God's.  That given the chance, her will could rival that of God's.  Sound familiar?  It was the very same sin that Lucifer introduced to the other angels.  It was the very sin that caused their downfall as well. 

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This was the first time humanity said "No" to the Divine Will.  The second time was when Adam came along and accepted Eve's sin into the family line.  In allowing himself (as head of creation) to sully humanity by not only accepting this sin, but taking part in it, Adam solidified our downfall.  Now that both of our parents (Adam and Eve) have sullied themselves with the stain of sin, all subsequent generations would feel the smudge on our natures.  This is original sin.  It's not an actual "sin" that newborns are held accountable for.  It's the tendency towards sin that we have inherited from our ancestors.  Much like the child of an alcoholic is more likely to become an alcoholic himself, the children of sinners are more likely to sin.  We are children of Adam and Eve.  The tendency has been passed from generation to generation, and with the exception of Our Lady, all of humanity has been marred by the stain of this original "No" to Divine Will... this original misuse of free will.

Out of love, God sentenced us to a physical death so that we might once more reunite ourselves to His Will.  Since humanity had marred its nature through sin, God rightly passed judgement on us, deeming us unfit to reside in Eden as that was a place of peace and unity with God's Will.  Humanity, having now turned from God's Will, would be forced to work their way back to their original Divine Inheritance.  Free will, having been gifted at our time of creation, was not taken away.  Instead, as punishment for misusing this gift to alter our purely good nature, we would need to learn to properly use this gift for love. 

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That is what our lives on Earth are all about.  We are learning to love.  We are learning to consistently choose good over evil.  We are learning to trust the Will of God and allow ourselves to take part in His plans for Divine Providence.  THAT is the meaning of our earthly lives. 

Upon death, we are judged on how well we learned this lesson.  Did we consistently strive to love others?  Did we consistently choose good over evil?  Did we trust in the Will of God to move our lives in the direction necessary to once more gain eternal happiness?

If the answer is a resounding "Yes," we gain entrance to Heaven.  If the answer is "Eh, it was a hell of a struggle, and I've got a ways to go, but I at least learned that Your Will is right" we gain entrance to Purgatory with the promise of Heaven.  Finally, if the answer is, "No, this is all bull, God, you're just a big bully" we cast ourselves into Hell.

And yes, I said we cast ourselves.  Much as those original fallen angels had.

At judgement, we see our own lives in the Light of Divine Truth.  We see our souls as God sees them, and in the face of this Truth, we cannot help but understand our successes and failings.  We, ourselves, pass sentence before the Throne of God (before which no sin or dishonesty can stand).  We accept whatever "reward" we are given because at that moment, we cannot help but understand God to be Supreme Justice.  Thus, our soul either joyfully enters Heaven (where our free will exists, but has been perfected so that it is united always to the Will of God), willingly enters Purgatory (with the understanding that our free will can be cleansed through the fires of God's Love in order for us to prepare for Heaven), or willingly seeks Hell as the only respite from ourselves away from the burning Justice of God's Truth.

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Christ as Judge
God is mercifully patient, this is true.  However, He is Divine Justice as well, and this Justice is not simply meant to punish - it is meant to protect and nurture those who wish to remain true to His Divine Will. 

In His Mercy, God grants us enough trials and experiences through our lives in order for us to properly learn Love.  This was revealed by Saint Michael to someone whose name escapes me.

St. Michael the Archangel revealed that every person on earth is given exactly what he or she needs to learn how to live by God's Will.  It is up to us to heed these lessons.  They don't continue in Heaven because at that point, all free will ceases to formulate through one's own accord.  It is either solidified with access to Heaven, becoming engulfed in the Divine Will, forged through Divine Love in the embers of Purgatory, or left to fester with no hope of respite in the bowels of Hell.  Our actions on earth determine which area our free will goes for a make-over (if one is necessary) after earthly death.

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The Angel of Death and Children

5/8/2012

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A few months ago, as my class and I were discussing the 10 plagues God sent to force the pharaoh to give the Israelites their freedom, the topic of the Angel of Death came up.  This same discussion ended up finding its way into my inbox this morning from a friend of mine who is trying to decide if Catholicism is right for him. 

Anyway...

The tenth and final plague, the death of the firstborns, was a punishment doled out specifically by the Angel of Death.  My class had a really hard time wrapping their heads around the image of the angel pictured in the book.  He was wielding a sickle (much like the one pictured), and left a trail of death and lamentation in his wake.  Not one of the kids could believe that God would intentionally "murder" children like that.

I had to reel them back in for a bit.  I explained that God never "murders" anyone.  The picture they saw wasn't a recreation of that night... it was an artist's choice of symbols and images to tell a story.  In the book, we saw a mighty angel holding a sickle.  Around him were crying mothers and lifeless children.  The artist chose these things for a reason.

First, the Angel of Death didn't bring God's punishment to the firstborns... punishment was meant for those left behind who would feel the pain on an emotional level (considering that months of physical punishment did nothing to deter them). 

This angel carried a sickle to symbolize the "harvesting" of souls.  The sickle is an agricultural tool that is specifically used to remove the most desirable parts of grain.  In ancient Egypt, that's exactly what the firstborns would have been considered.  The souls that this angel harvested (firstborns) were the most desirable and respected family members in Egyptian times.  The fact that God demanded that the souls makes the punishment that much more severe.


Finally, the crumpled, broken parents who clutched the lifeless bodies of their children were meant to evoke strong emotions - the artist wanted to REALLY hit home how devastating this plague was in its emotional severity, so he used young children to symbolize all firstborns. 

Firstborn didn't just mean babies.  It didn't just mean toddlers.  Firstborn meant everyone from child straight on through adult.  It meant everything from calf to chicken to donkey.  God harvested the most revered of Egyptian lives for Himself as proof that He was God over all - even the best protected.  He controlled Life and Death (not just over base nature and animals, but over humanity as well - something Pharaoh never accepted as true until this final plague). 

However, my class was still having a really tough time reconciling God taking these innocent lives with their image of a pure, holy, and loving Being.  This is very understandable considering we, as humans, many times see death as a horrible, evil thing (especially when it is the death of an innocent... someone who did nothing to cause or solicit an untimely end). 

One student asked me, "Do you think they [the firstborns] were scared?"

I paused for a second, because I realized then that my poor class had in their minds this image of a massive weapon-wielding warrior with wings blazing a trail through Egypt slaughtering unsuspecting children.  Their collective looks of horror and disbelief challenged me to break down the Angel of Death for them a bit... into one who looked a little more like this:

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Sorry it's not super clear!
The Angel of Death wasn't running around slashing throats.  In fact, I doubt the people who were chosen to die that night even felt pain.  Though I never thought about it before, when she asked me that, I immediately pictured one of those children, soundly sleeping, engulfed in a brilliant light.  The Angel of Death was present, and he showed this tiny soul something of Heaven.  He gently said, "Come, little one.  God is calling you home."  He reached out his angelic hand and without thought or hesitation, the soul - immeasurably joyous and willing - leapt from its body and consented to be carried along to meet the Source of such radiating, all-encompassing Love.

Instead of punishment or pain, these souls were met with joy and love... comfort and beauty.  The Angel of Death is not this menacing monstrosity that humans should fear.  Instead, he is the herald of our Heavenly welcome - the one tasked with the joy of bringing us home after our earthly sojourn.
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There am I in Their Midst

3/29/2012

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I have two rosaries that I typically use for everything.  I used to have three, but I'm waiting to purchase a new Rosary for the Unborn (since I lost mine on the airplane back from Jamaica - bah). 

I digress... as usual.  *Blush*

The first is my Confirmation rosary.  I was given this simple white rosary by my Aunt Bernadette (both my Godmother and sponsor) back in 7th grade when I was confirmed.  I had it socked away in a drawer for years, but since my reversion, it's never been far from my side. 

I chose that rosary to take with me on my trip to Treasures of the Church, though, which meant I got to touch it to almost 200 1st class relics.  From that night on, anytime I pray with that rosary, I feel it's perfectly acceptable to ask all the saints I venerated to pray along with me.  I'm sure they're only too happy to oblige. 


Anyway, last night I said my prayers downstairs so as not to wake up John (who had gone up to bed an hour earlier).  Since I keep my Confirmation rosary next to my bed, I reached into my purse to use the one my mother gave me for Christmas.  It's a beautiful birthstone rosary with lavender pearls and amethyst beads.  The Crucifix and center piece are by far the nicest I've ever seen. 

As I pull the beautiful rosary from my purse, I realize that I can't fairly ask the saints to pray along with me since I don't have "their" rosary.  Mind you, I'm fully aware that they'd pray along with me just the same, because they have no care what's in my hands so long as the prayers are coming from the heart, but I still feel as though that something is missing.  This is sort of like Jesus being fully present as I accept Him in the Eucharist vs. Him being fully present in the Eucharist at Adoration.  In both instances, He is absolutely fully present.  There is, however, a different type of intimacy.  I feel the same way about praying with the two rosaries.  Both obviously help me in my spiritual development, and both guide me through the meditations of the Rosary / Divine Mercy chaplet, but in uniquely different ways.

So instead of asking the saints to pray along like I normally do, I ask my guardian angel to pray along with me.  Whenever I make this request, I always picture a beautiful ethereal being solemnly bowed down in prayer, then rolling his eyes at me for such a foolish request.  Of COURSE he'd pray with me.  He'd do it regardless, and probably tries to coax me into doing it more myself!

But I ask anyway, because I don't want him to feel left out or think that I don't appreciate his presence.  So off we begin our prayers when a thought enters into my mind:

"Where two or three are gathered in My Name, there am I in their midst.”  (Matt 18:20)

Welp... me and my guardian angel make two, right?  So I wondered if Jesus was hovering around us somewhere.  As I made my way through an Our Father, I realized that not only was Jesus present, I was SPEAKING HIM! 

Jesus is the Word of God, right?  He is the Word of God incarnated, but the Word of God nonetheless.  The words of the Our Father were given to us straight from Jesus, Himself, so that's about as "Word of God" as it gets.  In the state of prayer, in acknowledging His Presence, I understand that I SPEAK His Presence.  He really was present with us as not only were His Words being used... His Will was being done through those prayers. 

The Holy Spirit was kind to me with that little nugget of illumination.  When I acknowledged that, too, I realized that the Trinity does fully exist with, for and in one another.  One can never be without the Others.  As soon as I realized that I was speaking Christ's Presence, I realized it was the Holy Spirit who placed that thought in my head.  I realized then it was the Will of the Father being done through the simple action of reciting His Words granted through Jesus, His Son. 

This is another reason why prayer is so important.  This is proof that not only do we talk to God, God speaks directly back to us... just not necessarily in the ways we expect or are used to.

So make use of your guardian angels!  I hear they like that sorta thing... *wink.*

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