Fr. Levi over at The Way Out There posted another article regarding the slipping of society as it falls further into the cesspool of degradation and disorder it seems hellbent on creating for itself.
The article deals with the "plight" of pedophiles who are demanding to be accepted as normal in the same way that homosexuals are now deemed "normal." Incredibly, there are psychologists who want to help this along by removing Pedophilia from the list of mental disorders they list in their version of the Bible - the DSM.
In an attempt to make people more aware that this was happening, I posted the link (along with the following commentary) onto my Facebook page:
'Cause no one saw this coming...
NAMBLA has been attempting to push for declassification of pedophilia for a while. So has IASHS. Homosexuality issue aside, this is severely disturbing that anyone in their right damn mind thinks it's even remotely okay to declassify this as a mental disorder.
Adults wanting to have sex with children is mentally disordered. There's simply no other way of looking at it.
"Oh, but these poor men and women who abused children must live with the stigma attached! They've gotta warn parents when they move into the area! They've gotta have 'the talk' with potential employers!"
Oh flippin' well. What about the children whose lives you shattered? What about what THEY are forced to endure for the rest of their lives?
You get to deal with moments of social awkwardness every now and again. They get to deal with shattered innocence, a void of trust, a shamed self-image, and the stigma of having endured your barbarity.
Your whining behind is lucky we don't still brand people on the forehead. Stop attempting to justify your mental disorder and just accept it for what it is so you can seek help to protect those children who you seek to harm!
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING! I don't care how much you think you love these children, you're outta your dang mind.
About 30 seconds later I got a "like" and an "AGREED!" comment (both from a family member of mine). Another minute or so later, my good friend posted a video of the South Park parody that deals with NAMBLA's insistence that pedophilia is normal. Otherwise, there was complete radio silence.
Now I'm not upset that I didn't get "likes" or "comments." That's not why I post things. I post them to educate... to make others aware. However, I have to admit being slightly unsettled by the lack of feedback regarding this particular post. Typically things this upsetting in nature solicit SOMETHING.
My first thought was "Folks are steering clear of this because of the connection with homosexuality. It makes them uneasy."
Well of course it does. No one likes to look at the truth of this logic because it's somewhat similar to the crazy folks out there shouting that once we accept homosexuality, we'll accept people marrying goats, sheep or dinosaurs.
However, the fact remains that when a minority of folks force others to accept disordered conduct as a product of "It's just the way I am" then other minorities are able to do the same. They're able to use the same arguments and the same tactics because from a logical standpoint, they've got accepted precedence.
So I chalked it up to the fact that the majority of my friends are very pro-homosexual marriage and were bristling at the idea that I was advocating homosexuality and pedophilia being on the same wavelength (which I'm not... but people tend to automatically assume that about those of us who disagree with homosexual unions).
The next morning, though, I got two supremely disturbing messages through Facebook from a family member and an acquaintance I had gone to school with. The first was from a family member who is both a woman, and a mother. A MOTHER. Keep that in mind. The second was also from a woman (though she has no children).
Both stated very similar things, so I'll give you a quick summary.
Gina, I would've posted this on your thread, but I didn't want to look like I condoned molestation. The psychologists make a good argument for why pedophilia should be removed from the disorder list because they (the pedophilies) really can't help themselves. It's unfair to be stigmatized for your entire life because of feelings you can't help. They shouldn't have to suffer so cruelly just because they have strong affection for children. They're good people, and they really try to love everyone. There are chemical imbalances that make them aroused around children, and with the proper medicines, they could live out normal lives that don't involve harming children.
One even went so far as to suggest that children SHOULD be allowed to make the decision for themselves by the time they're 12 because "by that age, I was fully capable of deciding who I should or should not have sex with."
Go ahead and let that digest a little bit.
This person was 12 years old and already felt capable of deciding who she should or should not have sex with. This means she was ALREADY deciding she SHOULD have sex with some folks (note that 'folks' is plural) at 12 years of age.
Below is exactly how I felt upon reading those two letters. I wanted to blast myself off the Earth because no... there is just no way that people can really, truly feel this way. I simply do not want to live in a world that wishes to allow such perversion to walk around unabated because it's "just how they are." NO. My SON lives in this world, and allowing these folks to just "be who they are" without needing to warn ANY of the surrounding families leaves him open to some terrible, terrible things!
I promptly wrote back (with less charity than I should have, I'm ashamed to admit) that they were part of the problem.
I was so taken aback by the mother who agreed with this declassification. She has children! How would she feel if we just allowed these people to move from town to town completely undetected so they could harm more children? If her son or her daughter were abused by a pedophile who was disordered to the point of thinking the abuse is not only OK, but DESIRED by her child, how would she feel when this person was allowed to move on to a new city to begin the process again? How would she feel knowing her child could have been protected had society treated pedophilia as the mental disorder it is???
She wrote back that people do take pedophilia seriously. No one wants to see children hurt by adults in any manner. There were ways to control those desires, she said.
I agree. There ARE ways of controlling those desires, but ya know what's a great deterrent? Knowing that everyone is keeping an eye on you.
And the only way that folks really learn you're a pedophile is when you get caught... which means that you've already abused someone in the past in some way. So guess what? Punishment is that you get marked going forward as someone likely to harm a child. Ya know why? Because studies have shown that much like homosexuality, pedophilia isn't something that can be "cured." It's simply a disorder of the brain. It is a lifelong cross for those who bear it.
Does that make pedophilias horrible, awful people? No. Not at all. Much like the rest of us, they've got a particular cross to bear, and this is it. It's a terrible one. But considering how much danger they pose to children - the most innocent among us - this cross NEEDS to be public. It NEEDS to be shared, because it is only in sharing this cross that they will be given the proper direction and support necessary to shoulder it properly. The public NEEDS to help them, and that help will arrive in the form of policing their activities. Not necessarily in an over-bearing "Who are you seeing today?" sort of way, but in an "We know you have an issue and we want to make sure that no temptations come your way... and if they do, you are able to handle them in the proper way because you know we're looking out for you" sort of way.
The only way for us to be able to "look out" for them is through knowing they've got an issue. Knowing they've got a disorder is the only way we know to remove the temptation should it arise.
Bah - I'll have to write more coherently later. I just wanted to get that out there because I've been meaning to write about it for a while. It's been banging around in my head since first reading it, and I can't help but feel completely unsettled that there are folks out there trying to push for this declassification.
Anyone have experience with this? Any words of wisdom on language to use to counter-act this line of thinking?
My uncle is a convicted pedophile.
Several years ago, he was caught sharing child pornography and, rightfully, put in prison for what should have been a long, long time.
Though he never physically touched a child himself, he sought out and paid those who did, successfully helping to create a market for abused children who are systematically kidnapped, tortured and used for the perverse pleasure of other people.
In my mind, there is no crueler, more depraved evil that exists in the world. To be a willing participant in such violence against the innocent... it is akin to abortion. Such exploitation extinguishes a child's sense of dignity and self... it kills their intrinsic thirst for love and hope.
And my uncle took part in this heinous brutality. I almost felt as though I spat those words through my fingers. The anger, revulsion and indignation rise like a tsunami of venom that bursts forth from my very core and rages out as an invisible whip vainly searching out his blood for vengeance.
This evil is, for me, a terribly difficult thing to forgive. What's worse is that he doesn't even seem to want forgiveness. He wants folks to simply "forget" that he participated in such perversion. He wants to be accepted back into the family with nary a word of complaint. He wants things to be as if he has simply returned from a cruise as opposed to incarceration.
No. This I cannot do. I have tried, but his handling of the family dynamic reached a head last weekend and I just about lost my mind.
Some in the family have tried telling us that all is well and he's no longer a threat to children. A few of us, however, stand in staunch denial of this. He has done nothing to prove he is even remotely sorry for what he's done; he's sorry he got caught. He's sorry he's embarrassed people he cares about. I have seen no inclination that he's sorry for actually participating in the destruction of children.
Countless times he has tried to play down his crimes. "The children were older" or "He didn't really know what he was doing."
He knew exactly what he was doing. You don't wade through as much pornography as he did without knowing EXACTLY what you're doing.
I've stumbled across porn sites, myself. I even have porn sites that link themselves to my page (and this entry will undoubtedly draw them out in droves). However, I don't sit there and download images and pleasure myself as these victims are sexually abused for my benefit.
Ugh - I actually want to vomit. That is HEINOUS.
And the fact that he has refused to acknowledge his part... my mind is blown. It is absolutely blown.
We were asked to attend a family function this past weekend for the kids. Vince, my niece and their cousin were all to get together for a special play date. John and I caught wind that this uncle would be there. My SIL also heard and all of us decided it would be better to keep our kids home rather than expose them to this situation.
Immediately there was an issue. We were looked at as wrong for not welcoming this uncle back into the family with open arms. We were looked at as selfish in keeping our kids from playing with one another just because he'd be in the same room.
What these people fail to realize is a glaringly obvious fact.
Uncle **** is the one who tore apart the family dynamic by participating in the abuse of children. Uncle **** is the one who made things awkward for everyone by purposefully seeking out photos of sexually exploited children.
Thus, it is up to HIM to fix it, if such a thing is even possible.
The onus is not on us to accept what he did. It's not on us to willingly place our children in his company. It's certainly not on us to reach out to explain or excuse his part in such atrocity.
Yet we are being looked at as if we are at fault. We are being spoken of as if WE are the ones with something to fix... as if our mindset is broken.
I just cannot understand this. Luckily, John's mother has been understanding of our point of view. She has not tried to trick us into meeting him since his release. The same cannot be said for others. Our cousins have come to us venting about how their parents have thrust him onto them, demanding that they treat him with respect and acceptance. No one is allowed to bring up what he did, and no one is allowed to act as if what he did has any bearing on who he is as a person.
Welcome to a world where up is down and right is wrong.
It's not on US to accept him. It's up to him to work towards acceptance. It's up to him to prove he's sorry. It's up to him to seek help and prove he would never put another child in harms way for his own perverted pleasure. It's up to HIM to reach out and speak to us as opposed to cowardly hiding behind his sisters as they fight for his acceptance back into the family.
His cowardice disgusts me.
I know Christ calls us to forgive, and I've tried to extend the olive branch (especially out of respect for other members of my family whom I love and I know are hurting over this, too), but his complete disregard for the feelings of my family members enrages me. I cannot forgive this... at least not yet. I cannot yet forgive that there are family members who expect us to accept this situation without even questioning the logic of their demands.
But I will not be made to feel guilty for protecting my child and protecting other children. I will not be made to feel guilty for speaking out against his depravity which has helped hurt so many. I will not be made to feel ashamed for refusing to accept such evil so willingly into the lives of those I love and care about.
So can I forgive a pedophile? Not right now. I am not able to. I'm trying, but it is impossibly hard.
And though I can't reach out with forgiveness, I can reach out with prayer. And pray for him I do. I pray for him and I pray ESPECIALLY for those he's hurt. I pray for the children who are caught in this vicious cycle, I pray for those in the family he betrayed and embarrassed.
I pray for the family as a unit, because we are obviously fractured on account of his actions.
Please join your prayers to mine. My appreciation. <3
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