I was at a wedding this past weekend for my cousin.  It was a nice little ceremony with a splendid reception. 

However, I have to admit that during the ceremony, I wasn't quite sure when the rite of marriage actually took place.  
In a Catholic ceremony, it's cut and dried.  You know precisely when you've completed your vows and are husband and wife.  

In my cousin's ceremony, however, I had absolutely no idea when the union actually took place.  There were two sets of vows, there was a sand ceremony that "symbolically united" them (similar to unity candles), and there were two blessings offered.  There was also the ring-exchange.  My niece kept asking me "Are they married yet?  Are they gonna kiss now?" and I had no idea what to tell her because I didn't know, myself!

Granted, that's not a huge deal in the scheme of things.  It was a nice ceremony - much nicer than some others I've attended - but it made me appreciate my own Catholic ceremony so much more.  

I knew precisely when our Sacrament was taking place.  Though our vows weren't "super unique" or funny, or quirky, or any other number of extravagant things couples try to put forth to show everyone just how special their love for one another is, I now fully appreciate the timeless aspect of our simple (and deeply rich) vows.  After all, these vows have been around for millennia.  They've provided the basis for countless blessed unions.  Our marriage, in effect, became a part of this tapestry.  It's a comfort to know that our vows are the same ones made by the strong family lineages that produced us.  They are like tethers to our ancestry.

Just a musing.  Again, I thought my cousin's ceremony was nice, but it struck me as odd that I wasn't sure when the actual marriage took place given the amount of circumstantial "fluff" that's sole purpose was to give everyone the warm fuzzies.  And I'm cool with warm-fuzzies, but I feel that for a marriage, you should KNOW when the rite is taking place.  It's such an important step in your life (two becoming one and all) that there shouldn't be confusion as to when the moment comes to pass.  

Ah well.  Regardless, prayers of blessing for them, please - they're good people.  :) 

My friend and I were discussing wedding attire since we both had celebrations to attend this weekend. When I pointed out I'd be wearing a long dress, she asked me why (especially because it was supposed to be hot).  

I pointed out that I typically choose to wear longer dresses to weddings because it feels proper to me.  I like shorter dresses. They're fine for folks to wear.  I'll wear them to weddings, too, especially if I know it's going to be unbearably hot.  However, I tend to prefer longer gowns if I can suffer through the heat because I believe in the Presence of God that participates in a very special way during weddings.

She shrugged and said, "But isn't your wedding outside?  It's not in a Church."

I affirmed she was right, but it doesn't really matter where a marriage takes place.  The couple makes their vows before God and man.  God is intrinsically present during a marriage because sacramental marriage is one of His most precious gifts to humanity.  It is through marriage that a husband and wife most closely resemble the Holy Trinity - God, Himself.  This is even true of a priest.  A priest is not "God-like" even during Consecration.  In fact, during Consecration, he hands his body over to become a vessel for Christ.  For a married couple, however, their charge is to emulate the Trinity.  That's huge!

Just as the Father and Son are one, so too are husband and wife.  Just as the Father and Son bring forth the Spirit through their Love, so too do husband and wife bring forth children through their love.  The Trinity is, quite truly, a family.  Obviously Theirs is a divine relationship that we cannot begin to fathom, but through the marital bond, we come to understand this relationship a bit more.  

Because this Sacrament is calling us to such a holy and divine emulation, God is joyously present at the union of two souls.

Do not think for a second that just because you see two bodies still before you after vows that their souls are not linked.  What God joins at the altar through the free consent of his children, no one can separate.  It would be easier for you to melt two white candles together into one only to separate them once again.

God takes delight in the souls who find joy in one another.  So of course He is present when two souls take the step of coming together in such a sacred way.

Thus, I take care to dress in a way fitting His Presence.  Long gown with shoulders and back covered is typically the route I go.  The dress I chose fit her color scheme (spring-ish) but since it was a bit more showy of my shoulders and back, I wore a shawl throughout the ceremony and blessing.  Only after these parts did I dare remove the shawl. 

So that's what I tend to keep in mind when dressing for weddings (aside from the obvious "Don't Wear White and Don't Wear a Tiara" rules).  God is going to be present, and He's going to be SUPER giddy that two of His beloved children are vowing to live the rest of their lives in a way that more closely resembles Him.  

He's coming decked out with Divine Graces.  The least I can do is be somewhat presentable, ya know?  *Grin*

I was honored to attend a beautiful wedding this past weekend. I was asked by this couple to do a blessing before the meal in addition to a reading at the ceremony.

Now, before any traditionalists reading start wagging their heads, relax.  These two didn't get married in a Church, so I didn't set off any atom bombs by making my way to the pulpit.  

*Grin*

However, when I was trying to write out the blessing, my friend poked over my shoulder and said, "Are you even allowed to do that?"

I laughed and said, "I'm not trying to preside over the marriage, if that's what you're asking. I was asked to lead prayer before lunch.  You say grace before meals, right?  This is exactly the same, only it's in front of a bunch of people there to tie one on in honor of the marriage."

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.  I think he was somewhat scandalized that anyone but a minister would be asked to do such a thing.  The fact that I - someone he related to as a "super traditionalist" - would consent to do something so "modern" threw him for a loop.  So I explained it again.

"Mothers are called upon to bless their children.  Friends bless one another through prayers and works of charity.  Wives can bless their husbands.  Priests aren't the only ones capable of speaking words of blessing.  I mean, when someone sneezes, should I keep my mouth shut because I don't have the proper anatomy?"

There is a difference between attempting to play priest by offering the words of consecration (or even the blessing of the Church) and being a loving friend who offers words of blessing before their wedding luncheon.  

In that analogy, he finally understood.  I wasn't doing anything improper because I wasn't attempting to inflate my position.  It was a simple leading of prayer - and I say "leading" because my words were likely those that were on the hearts of many present (my atheist husband not included - ha).  

So while composing this prayer, I felt I should keep two things in mind: the Truth of Marriage (it being a sacramental gift that calls us to emulate God) and gratitude for both the meal and the couple, themselves.  This is what I came up with:

Let us begin as we should all things...

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Lord, we thank You for this feast.  Moreso, we thank You for the couple that this feast celebrates.  Their sacramental marriage is a reflection of You - unifying, creative, self-sacrificing and unconditional.  Thus, we thank You for joining together S** and B**** so that their love can forever be a beacon of Your Love.  

We ask that you bless this meal, for it is through this meal that we all partake of their joy.  Bless our drinks which we raise in their honor.  Finally, bless all of us present here today - expectant witnesses of the multiplication of love their marriage has already brought forth and will continue to bring forth for years to come.  We ask this through Christ, Our Lord.

Amen.

Pretty non-heretical, right?  So yes - a woman can most certainly bless.  We are called to.  A blessing is not simply the words of Consecration.  A blessing can be listening to an upset friend, offering a ride to your coworker who just missed her bus, or even leading Grace before a wedding feast.