Deposition and Arbitration

Part 5 in the Accident Series

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for deposition.  I had read up on them.  I had tried to study my materials so I was up-to-date on times, dates and names of doctors (because there were plenty).  I had asked my lawyer about them (to no avail, might I add).

However, I was NOT prepared for the deluge of nastiness that sprang forth from the defense attorney. 

The guy who hit me was present for this deposition.  His "testimony" lasted about 20 minutes.  I, on the other hand, was in there for HOURS.  Can you imagine that???  I had no idea deposition could last that long for a freakin' car accident.

But oh, it can. 

He asked me every possible question he could think of.  And while he didn't flat out accuse me of lying, I'm not an idiot when it comes to intonation and follow-up questions.  You can ask me the same thing in as many different ways as you want, but I'm still going to tell the truth!

That didn't stop him from trying to trip me up, though.  And I understand that's part of his job.  However, I draw the line when you start asking me questions about my intimate sex life in order to rile me.

I mean, seriously???  They're allowed to ask you things like that?  I was horrified and completely humiliated.  I don't talk that in-depth with my best friends regarding my sex life, and this guy is entitled to ask as many sordid things as he wanted?  I kept looking to my lawyer for guidance, but he just nodded his head and told me to keep on keepin' on. 

I cannot tell you how incredibly humiliating and dirty that experience left me.  Even thinking about it makes me cringe.  I feel like I should've gotten at least the going rate for a prostitute after the hours I spent answering those questions...

Anyway, I held it together until he brought up testimony I had made about Vincent.  He noted that my doctor highlighted issues I was having carrying Vince or hoisting him into and out of things.  Proving this guy has no soul, he snarkily asked if I couldn't perform the duties of motherhood as a result of the accident.

...

Even typing that question and understanding the ramifications makes me tear up.

I admit that I lost it then.  Yes, I cried.  It was a combination of intense anger and boiling guilt. 

YES, this herniation has caused me to feel like failure as a mother.  YES, there are things I simply cannot do as often or as well as I'd like because of this injury.  YES, there are nights where I cry in frustration because I can't help but realize that I'm dealing with this on a daily basis while your client is probably still rubber-necking on the highway. 

My lawyer, at that point, spoke up and requested a break. 

But that, dear friends, is what you can expect for both deposition and arbitration.  Because the same thing happened at arbitration a year later - just in a briefer span of time.

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