Divorce Questions

When you post something as private and gritty as your marital issues online, expect to get a lot of follow-up questions from folks attempting to make sense of it - especially when they can't help but compare their situation to yours in an attempt to "litmus test" the viability of their own marriage.

I'm okay with this.  Fostering communication is why I posted my experience to begin with.  I've been getting many of the same questions, and I was almost afraid that I'd be known as "the divorce blog" as opposed to a "Catholic" one.  That's a terribly selfish and unfounded notion on my part, and I apologize that it took a personal friend verbally smacking me upside the head to realize it.  Even if I do become the "divorce" blog for a while, I'm still helping folks out which was my original intent all along.  God's work is God's work regardless of the form it takes.  Thank you, Jen, for reminding me of that.  

Next, I'd like to thank those of you who messaged, Facebooked, or e-mailed.  It takes a lot of courage to admit you either were, are or fear being in the same boat.  I appreciate your open and honest sharing.  It's helped affirm my decision to continue blogging about such a personal part of my life.  

Finally, I have to admit I'm really surprised by the number of men who wrote in - thank you, gentlemen!  I want to highlight your contribution for a very specific reason:

Ladies, your husbands care very much about you.  They, too, have the same fiery drive to keep your sacramental union together.  Acknowledge that they, too, are hurting and vulnerable.  They, too, are confused and unsure of how to proceed.  

That all being said, I'd like to take a moment to answer a few of the questions that cropped up.  I'll answer them as best I can based on personal experience, but keep in mind these responses are purely subjective.  Since many of these questions are more in-depth than one or two sentences, I think I'll do a brief series to take them one at a time.  I want to devote proper time to each in the hopes that those of you following along get the answers you're looking for.

So far, the list of questions is:

1)  How long was your marriage suffering before "divorce" was mentioned?

2)  Did you ever contemplate separation in lieu of divorce?

3)  Was it because of your desire for more children that he wanted to divorce you?

4)  Did his family treat you any differently once they found out about your marriage issues?

5)  What sort of things did the psychologist have you do?

6)  What was a session like (how long, formatting and expense)?

7)  Did your friends who knew ever recommend divorce?

If you don't see your question up here, it's likely because it was more personal in nature and needed a personal response (and will probably get an e-mail from me in the coming days).  I'll do my best to answer these and any other you throw my way.  :)  Thanks so much again for all your messages and support.  <3!