Fender-Bender at Lunch

So I was involved in a slight fender-bender at lunch today.  I'm okay, and my car is mostly okay. 

However, the entire situation is both entertaining and, in my mind, miraculous.

Let's begin with the hilarious. 

I had just left my lawyer's office having finally signed the settlement papers regarding the car accident that left me with a herniated disc four years ago.  I was feeling pretty good.  Four years of torturous litigation finally over!  I never have to look at another lawyer again!!!

I think I enjoyed that euphoria for all of five minutes. 

As I was driving through lunch-rush traffic in Center Philadelphia, I watch as a man begins to swerve into my lane, completely oblivious to the fact that my car is in his way.  In order to avoid being hit, I swerve away from him towards the parking lane. 

The angels must've taken over the wheel (or the tires, or something!) because I somehow managed to miss the jaywalkers milling about the lunch trucks, the construction workers directing traffic, and the pedestrians on the sidewalk.  I also didn't hit ANY OTHER CARS (moving or otherwise!).  Can you believe that???

I did, however, scrape my passenger side up against the cement median that was protecting an area of construction.  And thank God that barrier was there.  I might've jumped the curb and hit someone on their way to lunch!  Heaven forbid!!!

Anyway, here comes the entertaining part.

As I shakily got out to inspect the damage, every lawyer in the universe swooped down on my car and began throwing business cards into it.  The first question out of one guy's mouth was "Do you know what kind of insurance you have?"

WHAT?!  Are you KIDDING ME?

Yes, sir, I'm great.  Thanks for asking!!!

*shakes head*

It was like a cartoon.  Vulture hour!  I'd heard of ambulance chasers in the past, but seriously?  Wow.  C'mon now.  Decency, people.  Where is your humanity?

Anyway, a cop must've been behind us, because he had already taken off after the guy who swerved into me.  He caught him a couple blocks up, because I saw he had pulled someone over.  I'm hoping it was that guy. 

I waited around for the other cop to come and take my statement.  I passed along all my info and he told me where I could call to get a copy of his report.  He was going to hook up with the other officer and then let me know when I could get everything to pass along to insurance (since the other guy will luckily be easily proven at-fault for the damage). 

But wow... ha ha.  Can you imagine that???  I shredded the business cards.  I just got done with 4 years of this nonsense.  I'm certainly not beginning it again on the same day the last chapter closed.  No thank you!

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