Friends of the One-Way-Street Variety

I've been blessed with several artistically inclined friends.  Being someone who can't draw a straight line with a ruler, having these artistic friends has always given me a bit of a boost.  I can live vicariously through their skill set.  Ha!

Long-time readers of this blog know that I absolutely adore paintings.  I'll try to sneak them into most entries and sometimes I'll even go on wild tangents trying to figure out their layered symbolism.  I just really, really enjoy that sorta stuff!

Anyway, an old friend of mine dropped me a line this weekend.  (I've already had this discussion with her, so no worries about wading into a public battle of wits.  We've reached an understanding and she gave me permission to post this.)  This friend, "Lilly," is a pretty incredible painter.  I've linked to her material on my page in the past, and I've attended two of her shows in the last year.  We don't really talk much, but I tend to comment on her albums as she posts new work.  Every now and again she'll comment on a pic or two of Vince, but that's about the extent of our communication.

I was thus happy (and surprised) to hear from her this weekend when she called.  She said that she'd been reading this blog for about a month and has been debating asking for my help with selling her paintings.  She said that in exchange for selling her artwork on my page, she'd share my blog with her friends.

Now at first glance, that's not a ridiculous offer.  However, I admit that I took offense to it simply based on a conversation I'd recently had with John.

Let me explain:

I've been posting to Facebook about my husband's upcoming movie release.  Many of my readers already know that he sold his first movie to Lionsgate and the release is this week.  In my attempts to support him in his dream to make and sell movies, I not only agreed to be in the movie (with Vincent), but I helped make the food, solicited help from my best friend, Mary, and have been plugging the movie left and right for it's various screenings, releases, and news-bytes. 

---

Now, what most of you don't know is the name of my husband's movie.  The reason for this is that the content in the movie.  It's rated R, but it should really be closer to NC-17.  It's very "The Hang Over" in content.  Thus, I've never promoted it on my page, even after John's begged me to write up a horrible review and rile all of you fine readers up into a tizzy so you'll buy it and yell about it, too.

*Shakes head*  My husband - "No publicity is bad publicity."  Ha ha!

Anyway, I've made the conscious choice NOT to promote his movie on this page based on principle.  He was feeling slightly unsupported because I didn't want to use this medium to promote what I was already promoting through Facebook, Twitter, etc.

As I pointed out, however, I was supporting him in every other way known to man.  I was telling folks about his project, I was linking to the various news articles about it, I cooked for the cast / crew, and I agreed - against better judgement - to take part in it.  That's about as supportive as it gets, right?  

Then, on top of that, I pointed out that for all the unsolicited support he got from me - publicly - he had yet to link to my jewelry page.  So I really shouldn't hear word one about being unsupportive.

(Mind you, pointing this out promptly solicited a "Check out my wife's page" post to his feed;  I was quite appreciative).  

I go out of my way to support the various projects he or our mutual friends get involved with.  I'll re-post teasers, I'll comment on promotions, I'll share tasting / jewelry events.  Why?  Because that's what friends do, right?  Even with stuff I'm not entirely excited about because it's not about my excitement regarding a project - it's my level of excitement regarding the success of a friend.

So I re-post - ad nauseum, I'm sure.

---

Yet I have not received similar treatment and the answer is always the same.  "I'd totally repost your stuff if it weren't so religious."

Now this is not an entry whining about how little my friends repost my store.  I'm honestly not looking for that.  You fine readers have done a wonderful job of spreading the word, and for that, you have my prayers and appreciation.  However, I take offense to the fact that there are those among my group who have the audacity to claim I'm unsupportive or unwilling to help because I'm embarrassed by X, Y or Z when they refuse to help me out because they're embarrassed by God, or who would have no problem reposting my jewelry so long as they're getting something out of it.  As Lilly pointed out, she'd "make the sacrifice" of posting about God in order to access my "audience."

...

Something just doesn't really sit too well with me when you put it like that.

I don't mind coupling up with others who want to reach a broader audience.  I've had similar discussions with Dom, a wonderful artist, and even my friend, Mary.  I don't mind sharing wonderful items that I think my readers would be interested in.

What I DO mind, however, is being used and then allowing my readership to be used.  Looking to ride the coat-tails of the year and a half I've spent churning out entries, battling against mean-spirited trolls, and pouring out my personal life for what I hope will be the benefit of others... it amounts to being used. 

Telling me that you'll "make the sacrifice" of sharing my hard work so you're able to make good off the readership I love, appreciate and respect?  I'm sorry, but that just seems downright arrogant.

And I explained it in those terms.  If my page isn't good enough for you to "like" or share on its own - or even just because you would like to help me find success - your artwork isn't going to make it any better.  Your artwork isn't going to somehow change or overshadow the fact that this blog is Catholic, and everything about me and what I do is firmly rooted in that Catholicism.

So again - this isn't a pity party asking folks to share my page.  I don't want it shared by those who simply feel guilted or shamed into sharing.  I want it shared by those who either enjoy my work (both written and crafted), or who believe others will find value in this calling.

I apologize for the long vent.  It's just that I've been approached by so many folks over the last week or so who were interested in utilizing this page either for ad-space, sales or information (and no, I never have and never will allow 3rd parties to take your information).

It just really drove me up a wall and I ended up feeling very frustrated.  Since speaking with Lilly, she agreed that she hasn't exactly been the most stellar at recognizing that my work was just as valid and time-consuming as hers.  And maybe that's what folks who don't blog / craft tend to forget.  

---