Uuuuugh. I've attempted writing things out numerous times, and every time I felt like an angry freight train slamming into a brick wall. I got NOWHERE.
A strange thing happened the last time I attempted, though. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide my words. Since I obviously can't get my ire across coherently, I figured a Divine Boost was necessary.
Alright, Holy Spirit, I'm ready. Give me the words that'll make him realize just how much he screwed up!
I didn't pray those exact words, but I'm pretty sure those were my sentiments.
God answered, but not in the way I was expecting. Instead, I got a quick tap on the shoulder and a chiding that went something like this:
I didn't put you on this earth to be my scourge; I put you on this earth to be my beacon. I've never asked you to punish as I punish, but to love as I love... to forgive as I forgive.
*Insert major whining.*
But Gooooood, c'mon. You know as well as I do that he needs to be set straight. Use me to do it! I can do it! C'mon! Just tell me what to say!
That's about the time images of giant redwood trees being wedged in my eyes started dancing before me.
Stupidly, I still persisted:
How am I supposed to forgive him when he obviously sees nothing wrong with what he's doing... what he's done!
Ask Jesus. He forgave you in the midst of crucifixion knowing you'd be hanging out in the Confessional 70 x 7 times for the same set of sins.
Silence, then. I guess He was letting that one sink in a bit.
Finally, He continued:
Again, I ask that you show him mercy - My Mercy. Show him love - My Love. Show him that which will draw him closer to Me so that, in My Time, I can correct that which needs correcting. I am his Father - not you. I'm asking that you bring Me to him since he cannot bring himself to Me.
I shamefully admit that I whined some more.
Nooooo, God! That's too hard. I want him to know exactly how frustrated and upset I am about this entire situation! I want him to know that this situation needs to stop because I don't want it affecting Vincent. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know if this was God or my guardian angel stepping in, but I instantly shivered when I thought of coming to know precisely how frustrated and upset I made God with my litany of sins. I physically shivered. I didn't even need the words. The thought was enough to shut me up.
Okay, okay. So I don't go with the fire and brimstone. I'm still stuck, though. How do I start this whole forgiveness message?
Within a few minutes, it was done.
Moral of the story: Jesus modeled love and forgiveness for us. THAT was the example He gave us to follow. He didn't show us how to smite Sodom, how to set a plague upon Egypt or even how to rain condemnation on adulterers. Jesus showed us love. Jesus showed us mercy. The marvel is that He still shows us this love and mercy today; not just in the Confessional or Tabernacle, but in one another.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...
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