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*Grumble* I'm Terrible

2/16/2013

5 Comments

 
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So I did the normal fast today.  Salad for lunch, fish and rice for dinner, nothing in between.  Didn't complain, didn't reach for all the goodies around me.

But ya know what?  In my mind, I was counting down the hours (then the minutes and eventually the seconds) until midnight rolled around so I could gorge myself stupid on leftover Chinese food.

Blah. 

It's quarter after midnight, the plate is empty, and I feel like a cheat.

Does it really count as a proper fast when you're counting down like that?  I can't imagine Jesus was going "Okay, just a few more minutes of this crucifixion business before I can finally call it quits."


That realization makes me feel like such a wimp.  It's not like He asked me to give up food for a week.  He didn't even ask me to give it up for a whole day.  So why am I shuffling around as the last seconds tick by on Friday so I can devour the pork fried rice on a technicality?

Le sigh.  

This fasting stuff is just not for me.  I'm terrible at it.  Gluttony and I?  We get along so well - especially when she's dressed up in Chinese takeout.  And pizza.  

But I digress.  

Lent is about penance, prayer and almsgiving.  As Archbishop Chaput said, prayer is the center of this Lenten chain since prayer reorders us properly to the Light of God.  Penance and almsgiving (a proper reordering of our relationship to self and others) comes naturally from a prayerful attitude.  

My shuffling around in anticipation of midnight isn't what I'd call prayerful.  



So I guess I need to focus a little more on the prayer aspect of Lent.  I can't do the penance / almsgiving portion right if I don't have that centerpiece in place, can I?

I need to work on this whole "dying to self" business.  May we all reach the end of Lent as professionals.  ;)

5 Comments
Cammie link
2/15/2013 04:39:24 pm

Okay, I was trying to justify eating meat after sunset... and telling myself that it was technically tomorrow when the sun was down... right?

No. It's just bad. I managed to resist but the thought seriously popped into my head like, every five minutes.

Reply
Gina
2/15/2013 04:43:56 pm

Oh good, so I'm not the only one. LoL.

Does the meat fast count for you, too, even though you're nursing? I know the actual snacking part doesn't count, but are you technically "allowed" meat because of Patrick?

I'm not trying to tempt you one way or the other. I'm really curious, though! I never thought about it before. I know you're exempt from some of it, but I wasn't sure if the meat thing applied, too.

Reply
Dom
2/16/2013 03:33:26 am

Are you obliged to fast in your diocese on Fridays, or is it a personal choice? Canada is very wishy-washy on that sort of thing, and there has been much hullaballoo over the fact that our Archbishop (Prendergast) has informed his flock (politely) that abstinence is not just for Ash Wednesday or Good Friday, but for all Fridays this Lenten season. He's the only one in the entire country who has issued the decree.

Reply
St. Joachim Parish
2/16/2013 05:36:03 am

Fridays in lent is a definite. All year round Fridays is different in each place, but traditionally we are to mortify ourselves in one way or another in memory of Good Friday.

Reply
Nicole P.
2/17/2013 03:20:19 am

You are definitely not in the minority here. I kept my eye on the clock all afternoon on Wednesday and Friday waiting for Rigo to get home so I could have my "real" meal of the day. I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about the fact I'm fasting but dang, it's hard when I usually snack with Eli during the day and I was fixing her breakfast and lunch without fixing my own :)

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