I Shall Not Covet My Neighbor's Spouse, I Shall Not Covet My Neighbor's Spouse...
I have this veil in Merlot! LOVE IT!
I just came across the most wonderful letter ever from a husband who rejoices in his wife's desire to veil.
You can view it here, along with another contest from Veils by Lily.
Upon reading it, my heart practically melted into my shoes. The love and respect this husband has for his wife overflowed from every sentence. The fact that he acknowledges they're normal just like the rest of us (writing checks during the homily... ha!) made me even more willing to hug him in my heart.
At the same time, though, I felt a sadness. Far from loving or respecting my desire to veil, John is embarrassed by it. Granted, he's also embarrassed by any and all signs of my Catholicism, but the veiling is particularly cringe-inducing for him. I understand that. It's a testament to the fact that I'm not only Catholic... I'm a "traditional" one at that. I'm a "crazy old-school" one.
He's not alone, though. My youngest sister saw me veiled for the first time about two months ago and she openly scoffed at me, rolling her eyes and insisting I was ridiculous. My brother, just this weekend, saw me veiled for the first time (at my neice's baptism) and backed away, making a joke about "not wanting to know" about the crazy that had somehow seeped into my brain.
Veils, for many, are an awkward topic of conversation because it's such a traditional, outward sign of faith. The convoluted history of veiling doesn't help this awkwardness, either. Some folks mistakenly think veiling is a form of oppression. Some, like my brother, thought it was something you did while attending a funeral. Some think it's an outdated practice that traditionalists cling to in an effort to spite Vatican II. Still others think it's a way for women to act "holier-than-thou-art."
I touch on the history and meaning of veiling here. I don't normally get into it with those who question my choice because I realize they're not questioning my choice so much as scoffing at me for it. I don't mind, to be honest. I realize the scoffing isn't really an attack so much as an expression of "I'm not really sure what to say because I don't really understand why you'd wanna do something like that." So unless they question me further, I allow them an easy escape route and simply smile at their awkward laughter, slight quip, or indignant eye-roll.
This entry, however, made me feel a little jealous of the wife. Heh.
Obviously I don't want to exchange him for John. I love John and know he's the only one for me. :) He's the most perfect father and provider a woman could possibly ask for. He, in so many ways, is my best friend.
What I'm jealous of is the sharing of faith. For as many things as John and I share, faith isn't one of them. And I don't hate him for it, and he obviously doesn't hate me it. Same as he doesn't hate me for not loving movies as much as he does. We understand there is simply a divide there, and though we secretly wish the other would be more enthused about our individual passions, we respect that sometimes there are things we must do on our own.
So for as much as I'd like John to attend Mass every Sunday with me, and be an active part of the faith, I know that won't happen and would never enforce it upon him. For as much as he'd like me to take part in every meeting / screening / film shoot he does, he understands it wouldn't happen and doesn't hold it against me.
Just a thought I had. Regardless, I wanted to share the note (and subsequent contest) with you folks in the hopes that you can take part in that which I cannot! Enjoy and best wishes!!!
8/14/2014 07:04:43 am
I searched for but wasn't able to find the letter on Veils by Lily. I'd love to read it.
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