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Vincent's Question about Skin Color

7/16/2014

4 Comments

 
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My son said the strangest thing to me en route to daycare yesterday, and I was so caught off guard that I almost pulled the car over to allay my own confusion.  

He said, "Mommy, I'm peach."  

He was referring to the color of his skin because he uses the peach crayon for his face and body (also known as circles 1 and 2).

I said, "Yes."

He replied, "I want to be brown."

Curious, I asked, "Vincent, why do you want to be brown?"

He replied, "All of my friends are brown."

I said, "Vincent, is your heart good?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Do your friends have good hearts, too?"

"Yes, Mommy.  They are very, very nice."

"So it doesn't matter what their color is.  It doesn't matter what color you are.  What matters is how you treat people.  If your heart is good, YOU are good, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy."

He seemed content with that, but I was so caught off guard!  I honestly didn't think a thing about skin color until I was closing in on 8th grade.  I was a minority in my elementary school, and that fact never actually dawned on me until someone from high school brought it to my attention when he looked at my graduation picture.  He said, "You only had 5 white kids in the whole class?"

Looking back, I remember feeling instantly defensive and incredibly stupid.  It had NEVER occurred to me that I was a minority until he pointed it out, and I felt stupid for never making that connection.  Then I felt doubly stupid for thinking my color-blindness was something to be ashamed of.  

It makes me sad that Vincent is already aware of color.  Granted, he obviously doesn't think about it negatively, but the fact that such a thing is on his radar at all surprises me.  I asked his teacher if they did a lesson on differences or something, but she was just as surprised as I was.  

His class is a good mix of kids, and I like that.  I grew up in a diverse community and I want the same for Vincent.  He's got friends of both genders, of several ethnic backgrounds, and doesn't care if you collect Star Wars or Star Trek memorabilia.  He loves everyone regardless, and I love that.  I'd love to know what spurred that comment, though.  I really would.  

Ah well.  At least he seems satiated for the time being.  Dunno what I'll say if it comes up again, though.  

4 Comments
Dom
7/16/2014 04:02:05 pm

I don't think you need to say anything besides "People come in different colors; isn't that cool?" At his age, it's just a simple observation of shades, not a interpretation of character or whether or not somebody is better than someone else for the fact. Honestly, I doubt he even made the connection before you brought it up. Kids are neat that way. :)

Reply
Gina
7/21/2014 10:05:02 am

You might be right, but the way he mentioned wanting to be brown instead of white... it just sounded like he thought being "peach" was somehow inferior to brown... as if him being peach was somehow stopping him from being better friends with the other kids.

Just odd. But you could very well be right. Given my own background, I might've just been bristling at the thought of him noticing!

Reply
Amanda link
7/18/2014 07:26:59 am

When I was younger I also referred to my skin color as peach. It seemed silly to call me "white", even if I do have fair Irish skin, I didn't look colorless, so I was peach. I was very literal.

My son (5 yo as of May) just recently started asking me about skin color questions. Our family is multi-cultural, or more accurately, my husband's side is multi-cultural. My husband's mom's side of the family is mostly Native American and Mexican American, but there are some who would identify as Black, Puerto Rican, Asain (unfortunately, I am not sure what ethnicitity specificall) etc... but his dad's family is of various European background. So my son very much just looks caucasin, but has grown up with people who look Native American, Mexican, Black, Asian etc... But, of all these what is it that makes him ask about skin color? A tanning salon! He wanted to know if God made him white and why and if he should go tanning as to not be white? Kids...

Reply
Gina
7/21/2014 10:03:46 am

Ha ha ha - that's funny! Go figure... I wouldn't have even thought of that!

Reply



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